Lifeless Lessons

The End of The Daily Universe: A Less Emotional Response

2012-01-15T13:10:00.003-07:00

Late last night, I posted a response to the 'changes' the DU decided to make recently. I say "changes" like that because some are telling me, "The DU is not ending, it's just changing form." In that sense, they're correct. Well, your great aunt Kathy didn't die, she just changed form. And your hard drive didn't crash, it just changed form into a deeper, darker crisp black. Ok, I think it's safe to say "The DU as we know it, is dead." If I say it like that, it sounds much more favorable, right?

If you read my earlier post, you undoubtedly picked up on my emotional charges about the whole situation. Today, I wish to tackle the situation in a more logical manner. Losing eight employees is hardly a matter to ignore, but in this post I hope to disconnect from my personal relationships with those losing their jobs to address other issues.

My first concern about the DU changing form is for the journalism department as a whole. Perhaps the faculty spent too much time teaching us about being idealistic, and not enough on being realistic. After all, in the past, if you wanted to be a real journalist, it took some idealistic values. But what was most stunning to me is the lack of idealistic virtue the journalism faculty held when making this decision.

Now, i wasn't in those meetings when they decided to discontinue the daily part of the daily universe, so I'm not sure what exactly was said. But as mentioned in my previous post, I assume the main reasons for discontinuing The Daily Universe (as we know it!) was because of financial pressures. The DU was costing a lot of money to produce. Other Communications faculty were critical of this. They probably spouted, "Newspapers are dying!" like they are want to do. And so, after much deliberation, over a span of a number of months, journalism professors thought, "Yeah, you're right. They are dying. Here, we'll be hospitable and save the department so much money and change our curriculum. Then you'll be happy, right?" They called it a business decision.

Well, in the real world, newspapers are dying. And logically, it would make sense to change the curriculum to be up-to-date with the world. But in doing so, I worry that the journalism faculty sacrificed far too much, gave up too much ground. If they are to be completely realistic in this world, we must admit that leverage and negotiating power is a chief function of business transactions.

We need only to look at the professional staff of the DU for example, who lost their leverage and negotiating power when they agreed to use "new technology models" and trained students how to use these models to compile a newspaper. For after all, once the students knew how to use a system themselves, the value of the professionals of the old guard had diminished drastically, along with their leverage. They, as we know, soon found themselves without a job.

And that's why I believe the journalism professors relinquished too much, in this instance. If you're going to make budget concessions, you don't start with the "award-winning," hallmark creation of the journalism department. Now what are the professors left with to boast? "We have a really good blog" is just not going to cut it. You can't win real awards for having a blog. In a metaphorical sense, the journalism faculty has handed over the keys to the company car, prime parking space included. What else do they have to negotiate with?

In a few years, when the administration comes down and says, "We need to make some faculty cuts," they'll start with what they believe to be the least important assets. Right now, communications faculty is boasting about how THEY made the decisions to cut the DU (as we know it!), not the administration. If I'm the administration, and I see that the dept. of Communications doesn't even care about journalism anymore, then the first faculty to be cut are the most also expendable--Journalism Professors.

In the not-too-far-off future, it will be deducted that journalism itself is no longer a viable professional field. Journalism faculty will find themselves in a position to argue this against this sentiment. But when they do, they will no longer have a real, physical product that continues to net substantial student readership. They will no longer be able to hang their hat on the number of awards the newspaper has won. They won't even have a newspaper. And certainly, they will have lost their ability to effectively negotiate because they lack sufficient leverage. In time, the journalism emphasis will be non-existent.

And with that, I ask of them: where will THIS leave your students? Employers will deduce that I now hold a degree that lacks value, even to the school that granted me the degree. They won't care if my degree says "Print Journalism" or "Multimedia Journalism," as both will be extinct. If the goal is to change curriculum to match today's standards in order to better prepare students, perhaps the best way to go about it is to continue to produce physical proof that a demand exists! How easy will it be for administration to shut down a website when the time comes? No one will miss the universe.byu.edu URL amongst millions of other URL's. No one will say, "Wait, how else will I get BYU news now that the Universe website has been shut down?"

BYU Sports information has their own website. The dept of communications has their own website. BYU clubs have their own website. Administration has its own website. EVERYONE has a website that I can get information from. The unique thing about the Daily Universe was that NO ONE had their own newspaper, except us. No one had something physical to show for their efforts. And now, the journalism department becomes just another URL to forget.

And besides all of that, I believe students really valued the Daily Universe (as we knew it!). Months ago, many lobbied on Washington to eliminate NPR. It wasn't needful anymore, they said. It takes money from the overall federal budget, they complained. But what is the REAL value of NPR? It is not measured in monetary, percentage-of-the-budget, terms. The value of NPR has always been in the product it produces--a product that listeners and customers really enjoy. Undoubtedly, NPR has had to make decisions based upon budget, but to hand over the radio station and change to web-only seems ludicrous.

A few years back, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, a daily newspaper, chose to run as a web-only news source. I can't tell you their numbers, but I can tell you that no one I know (being from Seattle, myself) asks me, "Did you hear about that story in the Seattle P-I?" I'm left to conclude that not that many people read the PI. It's a one paper town now, with the Seattle Times taking the reigns. And if you were to tell me today that seattlePI.com is shutting down, I suppose most of us here in Seattle couldn't care less.

It's the same thing with the DU. With the effective destruction of the DU (as we know it!), it seems viable that the journalism department has sacrificed its greatest bargaining chip. And for what? To try to talk current and prospective students into believing that they'll be better off if we turn to a web-based training model? They could have easily done that without tearing down the DU.

My whole point here is, I think journalism professors should take a look in the mirror and find out what they just gave up. They lost all future leverage, because no one's going to buy that online journalism is any different than the CHUM major, computers in the Humanities. Or any different than computer science, or graphic design.

But mostly, they're losing a great daily product. A product that continues to have readership, drive discussion, and entertain readers. And that's a sad day for the department and the students in it. Some will continue to say, "we shouldn't have curriculum if it doesn't match up with prospective career opportunities." And then I will kindly point across the path to the JSB building, where religion classes are primarily held for proof that, when you have a good thing going, you should try to keep it, regardless of how it's going to prepare me for a career.

The End of The Daily Universe: An emotional response

2012-01-15T02:57:00.003-07:00

"And now, looking back, it's hard to believe that we were building the weapons they would eventually use against us. It's hard to stomach the fact that we helped them along their way. If only we had recognized the slow-burn, the simmer they held us to which led to our eventual demise. But no, this was their plan all along."

Last week, the department of Communications at BYU, the same dept. from which I recently received a degree, announced that they would be changing The Daily Universe into a once-per-week publication rather than a daily newspaper. Accompanying this announcement, it was released that eight employees would lose their jobs by the end of the semester.

Of course, the volunteer and ceremonial dont-shoot-the-messenger-harbinger-of-death spokesperson was "assigned" to present the news in a fashion that only s/he knows how, citing (spinning) the following reason: "We’re making the change to train better journalists and deliver the news the way our readers want it."

Even more, the Department says that the administration wasn't behind this move. Rather, faculty voted on it and presented it to the administration for approval. Oh. Well, in THAT case.

Primarily, I would like to publicly express that I, and many former and current journalism students, believe this is the wrong move. As the faculty waves their hand of dismissal at our opinions and figuratively says, "We know what we're doing here," it's important that at least one voice of disapproval, disappointment and embarrassment find its way to facebook.

We'll start with embarrassment.

Let's not be fooled any longer. This move didn't come just suddenly, or by any sort of accident. The journalism department has been sneaking around, planning this for a long time. It wasn't but last winter semester, when the faculty approached the professional staff (Rich, Kaye, Brandon, RJ, Ellen) and said, "Hey, let's try to use a new online management system for the sports desk. Trust us, we're just going to try it out and see if this works. Oh, and by the way, RJ, will you spend all your time building this new wordpress system? Be sure sure to fix all the flaws ;)"

And despite some kickback from Rich and Kaye about how this new wordpress system wasn't working out, and more kickback from a copy desk that found this new online system to be faulty and difficult to work with, the faculty assured everyone that it would all work out in the end. Trust us, they seemed to mouth.

And then, in the fall, they said, "Hey, i know there were some problems with wordpress last semester, but let's go ahead and make every desk run on this new system. Look, we know what we're doing here. Oh, and RJ, can you train the new students on how to use this?"

And then a new editor-in-chief was installed into the daily universe. To all journalism students, he promptly sent out an email that asked for students to apply to the new DU positions! Happy day! jobs! Hm, that's strange, he's also asking for students that "will help the DU move toward a more web-based focus."

Oh! And RJ, make sure you train all these new employees on the CMS system please?

I'm not exactly sure how long this move has been coming, but it's been a long time coming. RJ, although he may not agree with my analysis, deserves better than this. All eight employees who will lose their jobs deserve better than this. The students deserve better than this. And quite frankly, faculty deserves to treat themselves better than this.

It's just a shame that they've been using student editors and professional staff to implement a system that would eventually cost them their jobs and livelihood. It's embarrassing. And then they cite reasons of why eight people will lose their careers by saying, "We want to deliver news the way our readers want to read it"???

Well, if only I could say: "I want to get an education the way I want to receive it" and have that hold merit enough for eight people to lose their careers. You know, if I had a preference, I wish to receive my education in the Daily Universe newsroom, publishing a daily newspaper, learning the trade from Rich and Kaye and RJ and Brandon. That's how I want to receive an education. That's how a lot of students want to receive it. Who can we fire based upon my preferences?

Also, what kind of smoke screen, David Blaine, Chris Angel deception is being preached by the comms department? The first day of my journalism class after I was admitted to the journalism program, several professors stood before me and told me about how college newspapers weren't dying, and how they continue to have a high readership despite other papers failing. They preached the power of the press and holding a newspaper in your hands. It was magical. Now, a year and a half later, they sing a different tune.

And further, why are people protecting this move? Yeah, we expect to hear from faculty about how much more improved the education will be with our new techy BYU news that is going on the internet (because everyone will be dying to read the daily universe on the slowest server on the planet, with no user-comments allowed. And I'm sure we're all pining to know if they'll move sudoko and nyt crossword puzzles online, too--that way we can just search for the answers on that great website called google! Just the way we want to read our news, remember!) BUT, why are we hearing all this defense from other corners of the world? Why are DU student-editors defending this move? Your journalistic values should tell you right away how wrong this is, and your vehement defense of this is merely giving them more weapons to play with.

And if no one else will say it, I will: The end of The Daily Universe was a formulaic, calculated response to a growing feeling amongst faculty that the Daily Universe was getting too hard to babysit any longer. And instead of standing up for the educational value of a lab of this size, the journalism faculty crumbled under pressure from faculty of other emphasis' who believed the Universe would eventually drain the budget of the whole department.

Look, to most of you, this is just a rant. But to the employees who are losing their jobs, we love you. If students had the chance to grant tenure, we would gladly grant it to you. Ellen, who protected me against the wrath of the broadcast journalists on my many travels to football games, is one of the sweetest, kindest persons you'll ever meet. Brandon, who puts in so much work to make the DU look like an actual paper, and one of BYU's greatest fans, will be missed. RJ, who finds good things to say about everybody and works endlessly to put together a great web product, will be recognized and appreciated magna cum laude at any organization he works for. Kaye, for her kind words, constant stream of encouragement, goofy emails, delicious treats, and a positivity and laugh that is infectious, will always represent a mother away from home to all her students. And Rich, for his realistic values, unique perspective, and the ability to laugh off almost any unfavorable situation, is quite possibly one of the most respected persons in the department. And to the other employees who will lose their jobs, we will miss you all. I am no longer a student at BYU, but I have felt your impact in my life, and I suspect the same can be said for countless others.

High pony tails

2011-01-23T22:46:00.001-07:00

2010-11-19T03:32:00.001-07:00

Gaily bedight,
A gallant night
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of El Dorado.

But he grew old --
This knight so bold --
And -- o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like El Dorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow --
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be --
This land of El Dorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied --
"If you seek for El Dorado

BYU's difficulties

2010-10-04T18:57:00.002-06:00

Because the Daily Universe does not allow it's beat writers to publish anything that has opinion in it, for reasons nobody seems to know, I submit this piece to my personal collection that might add some depth to your assessment of the 2010 BYU football team.

And Because I signed a letter of nondisclosure, I am not permitted to say anything ill of the paper I write for.

But I'll have you know...I just want to write opinion sometimes. So here:

Following the Utah State game Friday, many fans began to wonder who is to be held accountable, if anyone, for the losses and embarrassment of this year. And although Cougar Board will be flooded with calls for the heads of the Offensive Coordinator, the Defensive Coordinator, and (heaven forbid) Coach Mendenhall, I’m not yet buying that it’s entirely any of these persons fault.

That said, there is a small cause for concern in a certain number of areas with this current BYU team.

For example, fans often attribute youthfulness of the team to future success. As we’ve seen with countless other programs that are rebuilding or reloading, youth doesn’t always translate into success. Sure, some of the freshmen on this team are promising. Jake Heaps, for one, is touted as a quarterback projected to start in the NFL, and he’s only yet completed one touchdown reception. Kyle Van Noy, Cody Hoffman, Joshua Quezada, and many others have seen significant playing time. While each has been recruited based upon his talent, it is easy for fan’s to believe that they are just getting reps to be ready to be the next Halls, Ungas, Pittas, and Collie’s of the world. However, this isn’t always the case.

While it sure is entertaining and reassuring to watch this young team and think of brighter days ahead, there must be caution in doing so. I’m not saying they won’t be a good team in the future, I’m just saying that they haven’t done anything yet.

And with what we’ve seen with these freshmen, there is still no reason to believe they will perform up to expectations. The sample size is extremely small, and we must factor in the time it takes to develop into a contributing player. But even Mendenhall is waiting for someone, anyone, to step up at the tight-end position and stand out. So far, the young one’s haven’t shown anything yet.

Also, I’ve heard some mention that Bronco Mendenhall doesn’t ‘pump’ his team up enough before games. Many talk about Mendenhall’s lack of emotion before, during, and after games.

After standing in on interviews and press conferences, it is easy for me to agree with this sediment. But is his lack of visible emotion a true factor in winning ballgames? There’s really no way to measure that. But it is remarkable to note that when a Bronco Mendenhall team looses a football game, they generally lose by a lot of points.

There are many factors that could contribute to this fact. First, perhaps the teams they lose to vastly overmatch BYU. Or perhaps when BYU is down, they play ‘homerun’ ball to catch up to opponents—they go for big, quick plays that are high-risk, high-reward. By doing so, they allow the other team more opportunities (and time) to move the ball downfield and rack up the score.

But on further look, one might conclude that Mendenhall lacks the power to motivate his team on the sideline. Surely, these lopsided losses aren’t all coincidence.

Lets examine the evidence:

Last year, the Cougars fell to Florida State at home by a score of 54-28, a 26 point spread. They also lost to TCU by a score of 38-7, a 31-point spread.

The previous year, BYU suffered losses to TCU, Utah, and Arizona. The combined score of opponents was 111-52, with BYU’s closest loss being 10 points against an 8-5 Arizona squad.

In 2007, Bronco’s squad only lost two games. The first they lost by ten to UCLA, and the second by 8 to Tulsa.

In 2006, BYU only lost two games by a total of 10 points. Again, Arizona, who finished 6-6 that year, beat BYU by a field goal, and Boston College beat BYU by a touchdown.

In 2005, BYU opponents outscored BYU 220-148 in losses that year.

Overall, the disparity of points in losses in Bronco Mendenhall coached teams is fascinating. Including the losses this year, opponents that have beaten BYU have outscored Mendenhall coached teams by a score of 678-388. Which is a remarkable statistic.

Utah, a comparable team, has only been outscored 499-294 in the same time period. Meaning, their opponent scores about 59% more than them in losses.

BYU gets outscored by 67%.

Kyle Wittingham seems to be more emotional, while Mendenhall seems more static. Is there any weight to this theory? Maybe not. Do college athletes need to be ‘pumped up’ to perform better? Perhaps some of them.

But still, Mendenhall teams seem to lack the ability to come back when down by two touchdowns. Even with the Utah State game, it was hard to imagine the Cougars could overcome the first half deficit.

So let’s hold out on calling for Mendenhall’s head, as there are many things left to figure out with this team. But that said, there are a few things to examine when assessing the 2010 Cougars and the future of this team.

2 long years

2010-09-10T19:21:00.002-06:00

It's been two years since I returned home from my 2-year mission to the great states of Mississippi and Louisiana. I talked about Hattiesburg today, and thought about Shreveport yesterday. It's wonderful how you can hold something or someplace in your heart as the perfect memory, despite it's flaws.

But as I think about things, I can't help but to notice and feel like my life has gotten better every single year of my life. Every month, life gets better. If I knew what i knew now while on my mission, I definitely would have been better. But the only reason i KNOW what i know now is because of experiences which included my mission.

Two Years! Two freaking years. It's been a awesome experience, and as I continue in my major work, I find more enjoyment out of working and learning.

Damn, I just love it okay.

Twilight: The phenomenon

2010-07-05T19:16:00.000-06:00

Last year around this time, I wrote about how the Twilight Saga (and that’s exactly what it has become for us non-twilighters, a saga) was one of the most self-indulgent novels that I’ve ever encountered. Unfortunately, the fan base has followed the author in this endeavor of expecting evermore out of their love interest. I wish to concede that expectations of men in general should in fact be raised, and if they were, I daresay we might live up to those expectations as a group. But there are certain reservations with the Twilight story itself that I hold. For instance, what does Edward benefit from pursuing a female who is self-destructive, suicidal, and all out undecided on her future. Granted, I’ve only read the first book and that was clearly a mistake on my part. Yet, I still find it interesting that a girl such as Bella should be desired in the first place, especially by someone who has lived as long as Edward has lived. Can he really believe that in all his years of existence, she was his best option? If so, what does this message tell us about women in society? As a man, I have seen evidence that there are many women out there who are smart, intellectual, self appreciating, decisive, confident, and athletic. All things Bella is not. In my opinion, Jacob was the hero of the story. He was the real man. The underdog fighting for the girl whom he has fancied from a distance. And yet, his timidity held him back just slightly because of the respect he had for this girl. Yes ladies, that is the real story of courtship. There are fewer Edward’s in the world than Jacob’s, and thank the heavens for that. But all of this is a moot point for a very simple reason: Twilight is very, very popular. So I must accept it as pop culture.

And so it is. This article’s intentions in the first place were not to hate on Twilight, but to praise it for what it is. Of course, you had to live through a few of my objections before I could get to the meat of the argument. But let’s just say that my quips are over, and my praises have begun.

Every once in a while, something comes along that is wildly popular for unknown reasons. In most cases, this epidemic hits for a period of a few, possibly six, months, and fades away. The memory and impact of that item is felt as a generation, and then replayed ten years later on VH1’s set of miniseries’. Think gigapet (nanobabies, tomagoctchi’s), pogs, chumbawumba, the Talkboy (ala Home Alone’s Macaulay Culkin), and Pokemon Cards. But on occasion, a phenomenon will surface which is incredibly sticky. Something that you think will go away, but just doesn’t. Twilight is one of these things. But where does its stickiness originate? What made a simple story so inventive? And what makes thousands of fans in southern Texas flock to the theatre despite the oncoming threat and torrential rains of Hurricane Alex?

It all started with timing, impeccable timing. Twilight surfaced about the same time that Harry Potter 7 was beginning its descent. We all know that Harry Potter was famously put together by another woman, this time one who resided in The United Kingdom. The fact that J.K. Rowling was a British author only buoyed her success here in the States, but I will touch on that point later. But since America and countless other nations had just lived through nine years of anticipation and excitement for Harry Potter (Sorcerer’s Stone 1998-2007 Deathly Hallows), we were ready to jump on another bandwagon. We were looking for a similar experience that we felt with Harry Potter—a similar high. It is a fact that addictive personalities always seem to have at least one addiction. And while they may be able to quit one of their addictions, they often replace it with another. You may know someone who has quit smoking, an oral habit, only to replace it with over-eating, another oral habit. Many recovering alcohol addicts pick up gambling. The list goes on. America has an addictive personality. We strive on instant gratification. We cannot wait for the next season, the next episode, the next book, the next hit. And herein lies part of the Twilight success. We were just plain ready for the next book high. And the book that came along with perfect timing was Twilight. In fact, Twilight displaced Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the number one spot on the New York Times Bestseller list. But its success wasn’t limited to America; Twilight was also an international bestseller. What made it so sticky outside of the United States?

I was talking to a friend of mine recently about the World Cup, and he mentioned that America doesn’t love soccer, but we love Europe. In turn, when Europe is the center stage for any big event, America tunes in and embraces the culture. I understand that The World Cup is being held in South Africa, but no one is more excited than Europe because they love soccer (futbol?). And because we admire certain portions of their culture, we think the World Cup is a big deal too. I think this holds very true. And I think this was part of Harry Potter’s stickiness in the States. Take Quidditch for example—when I first delved into the Harry Potter books, Quidditch was such an interesting game. I was excited for the next match. Later, I found out that Quidditch is an amped-up version of soccer. And I was intrigued. But everything British makes me intrigued. Because J.K. Rowling implements British ideas into her books, they were foreign to us, yet extremely fascinating. And it stuck. We loved it. The same is happening across the globe for Stephanie Meyer. Her books are extremely American and self-indulgent and other countries love it. In a sense, they feel as though they can imagine what it would be like to live in a small town in Washington State. And just the fact that earlier in this article I wrote about how Jacob “fancied” Bella created a spark of interest inside of you. We fancy Europe’s language as well.

Thus far, timing and personality have been important to the success of Twilight. But there are many products that have good timing and have originated in Europe that didn’t stick in the United States. We needn’t go much further than the game of Cricket to know that. So what else did Twilight offer that made it so popular? Simply, appeal to young people.

Marketers know that if they can get the kids to like it, the parents will purchase it. Why do you think that all the sugary cereals at the grocery store are near the bottom of the shelves? Studies show that sugary cereals sell better when they are placed on the same eye levels as children. When mommy is shopping for her healthy cereals, the child is walking beside her salivating at the box of Fruity Pebbles. Child begins to beg and scream and cry for the cereal he or she wants, and mommy wishes to make child happy or least stop child from making a scene, so mommy concedes and purchases the cereal. Marketing at its finest folks. And occasionally, a cereal will come along that is pleasing to mommy and child. This is where Honey Nut Cheerio’s has made its mark. And this is the Twilight model.

The Tweens love the fact that they can picture Jacob and Edward shirtless running around after their dream girl, so they gush and cry for their parents to take them and their friends to the theatre to watch the films. Meanwhile, peer pressure requires that they all read the books in preparation for the films. But tweens don’t produce an income. They must find another means of income in order to purchase the products that their friends are urging them to purchase. Naturally, they go to the first source of income that they can conjure up—their parents. And thus the beginnings of an epidemic. The strange thing about Twilight is that it didn’t stop at tweenie boppers—it extended to the parents as well. This brought about another kind of sticky.

Hooked on Phonics is educational-based material that is designed to help children learn to read through phonetic exercises. Through its ad campaign, it was wildly popular. In its advertisements, you could hear small children saying “Hooked on Phonics worked for me!” which was closely followed by the easy to remember phone number “1-800-ABCDEFG.” The phrase stuck with America, and parents bought the product in waves. At its peak, Hooked on Phonics led to sales of over $400M per year. Parents loved it because it taught kids how to read in fun ways. Furthermore, the kids really loved its methods. It was a fun way to learn. This only perpetuated the parents’ love for the product, which led them to purchase the upper levels of the product. Because the kids liked something that was viewed as beneficial to children, the parents approved and loved the product even more—leading to an epidemic of sales.

Twilight has had the same effect on parents. The good morals of the author—Stephanie Meyer—have spilled onto the pages of the book. Bella is a relatively normal girl experiencing the same struggles as girls do at her age. She struggles with being in love with a boy, even two. She struggles with popularity and self esteem—nothing abnormal for girls at that age. But parents like the way she deals with these things. They like that she remains celibate and chaste despite social pressures that scream for the opposite in today’s popular culture. The overall message of the book is positive. So when the tweens love the books and films, and the parents see that the message is strongly positive, the parents endorse the product even further. With young adults and older adults on board, combined with the timing of the Twilight series, there was nowhere for the franchise to go but up.

There is no accurate estimate of how much the Twilight Saga will ultimately make in profits. However, we can learn from a product such as Twilight. Perhaps Stephanie Meyer anticipated the end of the Harry Potter era and the opportunity for another stop-gap series to arise, but probably not. She was just in the right place at the right time with an interesting idea. Maybe Twilight reflects Stephanie Meyer’s girlhood memories and all-American attitude? And somehow, this helped in the international success of Twilight. In the future, people will continue to try to find the Honey Nut Cheerio’s and Hooked on Phonics’ of the world—products that appeal to both children and adults. If they can do this, and time it right, perhaps they will find millions of dollars sitting in their laps. And like getting bitten by a vampire, their lives will change forever.

The World Cup Mailbag

2010-06-14T01:43:00.001-06:00

Every four years, the world stops to witness one of the most exciting events. Countries around the world forget about their duties and pay attention to only one thing. Countless people who haven't celebrated anything for the previous three years have a reason to celebrate. Corporations and citizens alike plan for this event years in advance expecting that little extra revenue or expense. Many of you know exactly what I'm talking about....

the leap year.

Ok, but really. Of course I'm talking about the World Cup.

And here are a few of the comments I've been hearing in the Alexsphere (which is similar to a blogosphere, but really..it's just the conversations I have).

"I think soccer should have a shot clock. I mean really, how could that not be entertaining? Once a team gets it past the midfield marker, they have 36 seconds to make a shot on goal. Don't you think you'd see a lot less passing, and a lot more action?"

When I was told this, I thought, "not a bad idea." It worked in the NBA. before there was a shotclock, teams used to dribble around aimlessly for who knows how long. No one scored. There was no three point line. etc. But after they instituted the shot clock, all of a sudden the NBA flourished again. Games were exciting. And while we're at it, why not add a two-point line to soccer. If you score a goal behind that line, it counts for two goals. I can't see the downside to this! Yeah, yeah...other countries already love soccer, but don't you think they should adapt the game so its entertaining even in the United States? How can you they have a world-wide game that everyone likes EXCEPT the united states?! Oh yeah, let's consult the metric system on this one.

"Alex...why does soccer have a shootout at the end? I mean, no other sports do that sorta thing. What if baseball were to implement something like this. Can you imagine each team picking their two best power hitters and having a homerun derby at the end of the game? I'd like to see soccer treat overtime like the rest of the world. Sudden death. None of this shootout garbage."

I'd like to respectively disagree with this. I can't imagine anything better than a homerun derby at the end of the game. And furthermore, aren't the penalty kicks and shootouts the only things that make soccer really exciting anyway! Really, soccer is the only game where the fans HOPE for a tie at the end so we can see some dramatic crap happen. Could you imagine if the NBA had this? Lebron v Kobe 1-on-1 for all the marbles! I'm pretty sure ratings would fly! The only sport this wouldn't work in is the NFL, and that's because it's too much of a team sport.

"Ok, I understand that if a team ties in these group rounds, than they get one point. If they win, they get three. But what if every team in the group ties with eachother? Who wins the group? Has that ever happened?"

I have no idea. I'm not going to look it up. But this is another instance I'm hoping for a tie.

"..I'm just saying. What if America actually took this game seriously? Would anybody be able to score if Lebron was our goal keeper? Would Adam Viniteiri be the best corner kicker in the world? Don't you think Steve Nash would still play for America?"

I cannot think of a more valid point. It's true. I can't imagine if our best athletes played this world game. I'm pretty sure FIFA is the world's only stronghold against America, and that's why they downplay it when they beat us in soccer. There are no magnificent celebrations like they actually accomplished something. They sorta subdue the happiness. Because they know that if America saw someone celebrating so much by beating us, we might actually start to take the game seriously. If we sent our best athletes to soccer, I hardly doubt anyone would have a chance. And yes, Steve Nash WOULD play for America. Even Ichiro might.

And by far my favorite comment...

"Yeah, when you realize what the rules of soccer are, it really makes quidditch a less impressive game. I used to think J.K. Rowling was a genius for making that game up. Now I just realize she was copying soccer. Way less impressive."

I can't agree more! I wonder if there is offsides in quidditch. If not, who would be the cherry picker? I could see Ron sitting around the goal waiting for a pass. And now that I think of it, COULD you get tired in quidditch? After all, the broom is doing all the work. You're really just throwing stuff around. This game is becoming more and more unimpressive the more I think about soccer.

Enjoi the World Cup! I know I've enjoyed the comments thus far!

The End of a Series..

2010-05-25T13:33:00.002-06:00

So all this commotion about the end of LOST has really had me thinking about things lately. You know, I didn't start watching LOST at all until this summer. In fact, I'm still stuck in season 2 because I haven't quite had enough time to get in a good marathon day or two. I'm still wondering what all the numbers mean, still just beginning to hate charlie, and still thinking Shannon should be the next character to bite the proverbial bullet (Even though LOST wouldn't let someone die in such a conventional way). But that's just me and where I'm at. I can't help but to go to any news source, including facebook, and see that people have commented on the season finale. ALl the questions left unanswered, and which character we will miss the most. It's flooded the airwaves.

And I suppose the point is this: The end of a TV series really effects us in some strange way. Seinfeld. Friends. MASH. Whatever it is, people seem drawn to television series. Its part of their lives. It's a part of them. Just like how sports teams you love become part of you. Somehow, the outcome of a game changes your life. This team really does nothing for US! we pay the salaries, and we look up to players whom we've never met, and who do not care about us in any sort of personal way. Yet, when they lose, we take it personally. I feel like this is the same with tv series. When it's on, we take it for granted even. But we feel sick when a favorite character dies. We feel hate when a character betrays another. Why? It's merely entertainment. But we've become attached. And then, when it's all over, we really really miss it.

I bring you back to graduation day for high school. Marysville-Pilchuck Class of 2005. In the days previous to the actual graduation, we had spent countless hours practicing the actual ceremony in the school gym. Each of us couldn't wait to graduate, and move on to bigger and better things. "real life" we called it. We'd show up, sit next to those that were alphabetically arraigned next to us, and chatter just like any other day of high school. Finally, the night came for actual graduation. We packed on a bus, and went to the Everett Events Center. I couldn't believe how many people showed up to watch us graduate. We walked out from under the stands, and saw thousands of people excited for US. If I had known better, I would have chalked my hands ala Lebron and slapped them in the air. That would have gotten the crowd going. I had the opportunity to speak at graduation. I started off with a quote from Albus Dumbledore. And I spoke about the future, and how we would go on to do great and wonderful things. How each of us would reach our potentials, and become all that had dreamed we'd become.

It was exciting. We graduated. A few of us trickled off to various graduation parties. A few to dinner with parents and relatives, and a portion of us went to the school-sponsored graduation party. It was an all-night affair. We hung out with our closest friends, vowing to hang out forever. Brittney Spears of Crossroads would have been jealous of the promises made between my friends and I. BFF's.

Little did we know, those would be some of the last time we saw each other. People moved on, people disappeared, people went to school, people got married, people got pregnant. And most of all, people just became their own person. They made new friends, worked for new people, and changed.

Maybe for the first time in our young lives, we learned that it's okay for things to be done. It's okay for things to be over. We'll move on, and move forward. It was okay to be done with highschool and everything that happened there. It was fine to find new friends, experience new adventures, and become new people. It's okay for LOST to be over, and 24, and Friends, and Seinfeld. You love something, and you cherish the time you have, and when it ends, you're just happy to be a part of it.

Harry Potter is done with. I'm sad that book 8 isn't coming out soon. It's unsettling that I can't wait in line at Barnes and Noble for the next copy and be so excited for it.

There are many other examples of this. And what I'm saying is that it's great to be a part of something and to experience things. And just because I don't see someone as much doesn't mean I can't care for them still. But also, I realize that things will arise that cause things to end, and when they end I just want them to stay as great memories.

That was a little too deep to dedicate to LOST. But lost always was a little deep, wasn't it?

Real Quiet

2010-05-22T20:09:00.002-06:00

What's in a name? And why is it that I know that phrase but i can hardly tell you where the phrase itself comes from? I think that's who we are as a culture. I think we popularize things and they become part of our common speech. I'll give you this example: I was on my missionary service for the church about the time that "The Office" got popular. I wasn't able to watch TV on any sort of regular basis for two years. I saw a few things here and there. But for the most part, I was deprived of television, even the most popular of shows. Anyway, when I was in Mississippi, people started saying "that's what she said" ALL.THE.TIME. I mean all the time. I had NO idea where it came from, but i found myself saying it anyway. After a few months, I found out that it was essentially from 'The Office." Cant believe it. I went a whole however long without even knowing where a reference that I use often came from! Has anyone else ever experienced this?!

But back to the topic. What IS in a name? While knocking doors trying to sell the dreaded pest control, I came across a neighborhood called "Belmont." In Belmont, every road is named after a famous horse. I loved this. For some reason, Horse names are so majestic. They are simple names, but they seem to be immortal. Man-O-War, Seabiscuit, Real Quiet, Seattle Slew, Proletariat, Barbaro, and many more. I think names are definitely something we can identify with and relate to. If it's appealing, I think we like that person or thing better.

Would I live in "the Colony" apartments near BYU? heck no, because I'm not a bee. Would I live at "normandy" at BYU-Idaho? no, because I dont want to think about the Allied forces getting bombed and mowed down with machine guns at a large beach whenever I walk up the stairs.

Names mean a lot.

And what does this have to do with my life? Absolutely nothing, but I can tell you that I have an odd middle name and I used to be quite embarrassed of it. So yeah, even small things like this make a difference.

I wanna bet on some horses now..

Things I wish I didn't know

2010-04-17T01:57:00.002-06:00

Lately, I've had a lot of thoughts that were designated towards my private writings, and thus, you..my most loyal readers, have been neglected. I apologize profusely for that. It's no secret that my friends have been so cool to me lately--very supportive and engaging. So of course, thank you all for that.

I'm going out to Oklahoma to sell pest control this summer. It's one of those get-rich-quick schemes so hopefully I come out on top at the expense of others. But really, its a legitimate business and a legitimate service. If they need pest control, they'll purchase it. If not, they won't. I'm tempted to wiki the origins of pest control. I'm sure I'll be really bored at times this summer, which means more blog updates for you.

As you can tell by the title of this blog, I'll be giving you a few things I really wish I didn't know. So here goes nothin:

1. Olive Garden is not good.
Now just wait a second. I'm not trying to create a riot or anything, because I know where you're coming from. I've been there before. Remember, this is a list of things I WISH I didn't know, so I'm saddened myself to know this. But here's the fact: Olive Garden lives upon reputation alone (accompanied by above-average salad and breadsticks). Every time a friend of mine mentions going to the O.G.(as I like to call it), I get super excited inside. I jump for joy, thinking that it will be a good investment. The atmosphere in the restaurant is great, and I remember that. But I'm constantly dissapointed every singe time. When I leave, I always think, "that wasn't a great idea, and the food wasn't as good as I remembered." In fact, I feel the same way re-watching the ninja turtles movies(movies I LOVED as a kid). Or you feel like you do ANYTIME after going to a buffet. Just not too excited afterwards. You're left saying, "why did I eat there?" Really, the only redeeming factors are the delicious breadsticks, which can't carry a whole franchise in my opinion. Outback can't survive off the blooming onion alone, so they make good steaks. You just can't make a living off your appetizer, even if you are Olive Garden. Next time, try Macaroni Grill or Carraba's.

2.Life's not fair
Hate to go somewhat serious on you, but it's true. When I was a kid, life was a lot more fair. If my brother got a new nerf gun for christmas, so did I. If my sister and I were fighting over the last piece of cake, she would cut it, and I would get to choose which side I wanted. It was only fair. We'd each take a turn doing the dishes, we'd each get to sit in the front seat an equal amount of time, and we'd each get to choose what cartoon we wanted to watch depending on a weekly rotation.
What ever happened to those days? You grow up, and you start to realize that nothing is fair. People are always getting things that you wish you could get. You're getting things that other people wish they could get. And there's really nothing you can do about it. Sometimes you feel like you got dealt pocket aces, and other days you got dealt the 2-7 off suit. The only problem is that in the game of life, you can't really fold. And even if you could, there's already too much at stake in the pot.
There are some people who act like they don't know this, and I envy them, but this only furthers my knowledge that life isn't fair. I WANT to live like I don't know this fact. It's an important lesson to learn in life--sometimes you just can't change things.

3. Money is the motive more often than not
Hey, I don't hate money. I love it. Everyone loves money. Even if you believe you don't need money, there are very few of us out there that deny the value of it. You need to have it. This is a sad realization, especially in college. We students want to believe that there is more out there than money. We want to believe that money destroys and takes over and is the cause of every oppression, and we're probably right. But we continue to do things in order to chase that cash. Even if we want to do something amazing for society, you must have money to do it. And for this, I wish I didn't know this fact. I wish i could live a life free of financial obligations to myself and my future family. I should never have read "into the wild"...

Well there it is. I wish I had more time, but its 3 oclock in the AM. and I'm beat. The next post will be more playful, I'm sure. But I just hadta get back on the map. Enjoy, and comments are appreciated

2010-03-24T16:40:00.001-06:00

I'm attempting to diversify my life a little bit by taking in some different things that I wouldn't normally do. Last weekend, I went to see "As You Like It" at BYU. The production was interesting, as it was a more modern rendition of it. They used the original Shakespearean verse, but the costumes were all modern and fairly contemporary. Yeah, you had the goth girl who shops religiously (or anti-religiously) at Hot Topic. You had the kid who loves his American Eagle(which is the new Abercrombie, but hasn't quite reached 'Buckle' status). And you have the girl who is overwhelmingly in love with the cute guy. This all seems pretty modern to me.
Anyway, during the play, a few of the guys took their shirts off and wrestled around because it went along with the story of the play, and judging by the last installment of the Twilight Saga, girls like that sort of thing. Also, the hot topic girl had a few (fake) piercings and a revealing wardrobe, but nothing I wouldn't see in a typical Herbal Essences commercial. And certainly nothing I'd see in a particular Superbowl half-time show. What I'm trying to say here is that the play was mild, even for people who hate spicing it up.
Luckily, we saw this play on the first night. Because what I discovered yesterday was a bit of a slam on the BYU community. Apparently, a few of the dedicated fan base of BYU theater wrote in and complained that the play was too 'suggestive, provocative, and surprisingly sexual." First of all, that description is something marketing companies strive for. I think I heard those exact words come from the LA times in response to the pilot episode of Ally McBeal. It's something that MOST theatre's strive for. And I'm not saying BYU should strive for the same reviews as Ally McBeal, or any other FOX sitcom (especially not Boston Public), but it isn't always a bad thing to PREFORM.
This type of censorship really puts a blemish on the allowance of art and literature at BYU. I don't experience this type of censorship in any of my classes. We read whatever is considered important to the development and innovation of literature. We memorize and consider the impact of artistic styles, paintings, and sculpture quite often. Then why, when BYU puts on a modern production of As You Like It, are the entertainers required to edit the material in order to make it more user-friendly for the old folks? I just don't get it, and I guess that whoever is in charge of this play wants to make money for the theatre dept, and the only way to ensure a fiscal return is to adapt the production to the culture who show the most financial promise. But still.
In my eyes, this play was nothing short of magnificent. It was engaging, funny, and the actors and actresses were believable. It was something of a new experience for me to REALLY enjoy the theatre. And from now on, you better believe I'll be attending opening night of any play I really wish to see. It's the only way to ensure I'll get the whole experience.
I believe censorship doesn't help anybody. Let's not take away from a fine play. Let the actors act,and the players play. And now, let the audience sit back and enjoy the artistic values that this play represents.

Oscar

2010-03-08T17:23:00.002-07:00

Today, the buzz is all about last night's Oscar's. I, like a few of my contemporaries (meaning friends in this context. But I view them as cohorts, or partners in crime, or future do-gooder's) did NOT watch the Oscar's. I know what you're thinkin. I can hear it through my computer screen:

"But Alex, the Oscar's are a huge part of pop culture!"

"Allllleexxx, how else are you gonna be informed about the great actors and actresses that dot this fine, green (God forbid it be any other color), Earth?"

"Wow, I thought you kept up with all that stuff? I guess you're just not as news savvy as I had originally thought."

Oh wait.. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE OSCAR'S!!! and last night proved why. Yeah, I saw Hurt Locker. And yeah, I enjoyed it. And yeah, I think it was praiseworthy. But here's the thing:

In the hierarchy of movie culture, only those people who are superior and OBVIOUSLY skilled in the arts of judging movies make the rules. And that leaves us, those casual movie-goers, those of us who judge a movie on how good we feel about spending the outrageous 10 dollar price tag ($13 for 3-D), those of us who want entertainment to be..well...entertaining, unimportant in regards to the movie awards.

So what I'm saying is, for the 99% of us who the above applies to, we have no say in who wins what award. "Critically acclaimed" translates into boring half the time. When was the last time you saw a movie that changed your life? I mean, really?

And the "movie critics" out there are saying, "Well, if the audiences got to pick the movies that won Best Picture, they'd just choose some big budget, special effect laden, action film with a feel good story!! So that's why we can't let THEM (us) choose!" Oh, you mean we'd choose Avatar? hm, that's weird. It seems like the audience would have been really close on that one, since Avatar was nominated for umpteen academy awards.

Another attack: "Well, audiences can't really judge what is a good performance by an Actor or Actress is." Again, sounds like the audience favorite won best Actress. And hey, its not our fault that audiences don't go out and watch movies that barely make it into production but have so-called INCREDIBLE acting. I wasn't exactly WOW'ED by the Big Labowski. What Makes you think I'm gonna run out and see every Jeff Bridges movie?

And then they scream, "Well, how is an audience supposed to know what is good editing or not?" Well you're right, we probably won't be able to tell you the in's and out's of film editing, but we can tell you a few things: If a film is entertaining and has a good story, I don't think we care that much about the editing.

Ok, ok. I'm done with this. It's just that the Oscar's are everything that people only care about because we're told to care about. Hell, I trust Netflix's top 100 over anything the Academy refers. Why? Oh, because people like you and I are actually watching the movies and rating them on Netflix. I'd say that's as good a reason as any to ignore Oscar night, and just watch some over-priced network programming instead.

Rant over.

I'll tap the break, and you crack the window

2010-03-04T00:27:00.002-07:00

Dear Arizona,

Thank you so much for existing.

Okay, so here I am in my travels (Which are very far-reaching, I know) and I've stumbled upon a gem of a state. They have baseball in the winter. They have every restaurant or establishment man ever created. Although, I will say that any state that has jack in the box is ranked quite high on my list. They have sun in the winter. They have people I love. And did I mention? No winter.

Self-Help

2010-02-22T18:24:00.002-07:00

Don't blame me for being so young. I know I oftentimes write about things as if I were older, and more experienced with them, and today is no exception. It's given as fact, that however old a man (or woman) is, they believe themselves to be old enough to hold an opinion on a matter--whether they know much about it or not. When I was in 8th grade, I used to rule the roost, as I like to say. I thought that my opinion might as well be written as eternal law, and mostly my opinion held that 13 yr old's should be able to see rated-R movies in the theatre unobstructed.

Again, in 10th grade, I believed I was old enough to support George W. Bush and the war in Iraq. I also believed that Weezer was the best band in the world, and that anyone who didn't use AOL Instant Messenger to convey vital information and gossip throughout the high school really wasn't apart of the "in" crowd. All this, I thought to be true. And that was in between me playing Halo 3-5 hours a day.

When I was a Senior in High School, I believed that the whole town rallied around the football team, and read in the paper every time a big prank went down. I believed it was absolute law that each of us in the graduating class would see each other again, over and over and over AND over again. In my mind, nothing would ever change. In my mind, everything was right as it should be, and I was in control of what "right" was supposed to be.

And now, at a ripe age of 22, I am encouraged to believe that nothing, no, nothing will be in my power to control. I'm encouraged to say, "I'm just another cog in the machine." I'm supposed to fall in love with Indy rock, and protest war for a short while, and read The Fountainhead, and fall in love with Tolstoy and Thoreau, and skip college classes for random road trips, and make mistakes in Vegas, and boycott Coca-cola and Walmart, and fall in love, and fall outta love, and break the law in small ways, and protest our parents for party money, and play fantasy football, and neglect responsibility, and get fired from our jobs, and do grunt work on a farm, and hitchhike at least once, and bowl a perfect game in ski-ball, and become a vegetarian, and fall in love and out again, and hang "Marley" posters in my room, and spend my entire paycheck on a combination pool table/ping-pong table, and steal music off the internet, and watch independent films, and vote, and not vote because there are no good candidates, and have a weird intellectual crush on a professor, and learn to play guitar and harmonica, and give blood, and save a stray dog, and finally, fall in and out of love again. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. And I'm fine with it, but after all THIS, we're supposed to fade into the working world and become a shell of what we were in our primes. MAYBE, some of us will climb the corporate ladder, and even fewer will come up with amazing ideas (snuggie) that will sell a ton, and they'll become millionaires.

But what of the rest of us? And maybe I'm using this blog as a rallying cry in vain. Maybe it's just the thing to do when I'm this age--write in a blog. Maybe my thoughts are fallen upon no one but my self, and those of you who comment are merely the last pillars of hope that stand with me. And maybe I'm just being emo, which we all know, is fading out of popular culture.

And maybe we aren't going to turn into nobodies. And I think my biggest fear is turning into a nobody. But why do I fear that? The world is still right. After all, Best Buy is still in business. America is still winning the Olympics. Young people are still swaying the votes. Books are still being read. And jobs, somehow, are still continuing to crop up.

Don't blame me for being optimistic about the future, even at my young age. Still, we own our share of opportunity. Do not relinquish it, no matter your age.

(Swallowing my) Pride and Prejudice

2010-02-18T15:56:00.002-07:00

There is a problem. And I'm starting to realize that the smaller problem is actually part of the larger problem.

It all started a few days ago. For my English Lit class this semester, we were assigned to read an entire novel is three days. The novel, to my disappointment, is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Great...women professors assigning their favorite women romance novels to a class filled with 70% women. Yeah, it IS English literature, but surely there must be a biased opinion on the professor's part, yes? But I wasn't about to make a hasty decision on this one. So I began to read the book.

And here's the problem: I REALLLLLLLLLLY like it. Love it, even. I can't get enough of this crap. I'm cruising through this thing for the first time wondering why Mr. Darcy is such an idiot, how funny Mr. Bennet is, how 'girly' Lizzy is, etc, etc. Seriously, this is quite possibly one of the best pieces of literature I've read in a long time.

What makes it even better is the fact that I haven't seen the movie, or heard the end of the book or ANYthing, so it's like I'm living through this book, waiting for the next turn or twist, and hoping Mr. Darcy will finally come around to being a nice guy.

So that's my little problem. The big problem is this: IiIIIiiiIII think stephanie meyer has ruined my perception of romancey novels. I mean, the only reason I was really opposed to reading P&P was because of the bad taste I got in my mouth when I picked up the first Twilight novel. I mean, it literally made me sick. I vomited at every chapter, but since I'm one of those people that always finishes a book that he picks up, I finished it.

Without going too far into the bashing of Twilight, I'll just say this: someone told me the ending of the saga the other day, and I think it made them even worse. Jacob really hooks up with Bella's daughter? Whatta pedaphile. And maybe I just don't understand the obsession with it, but for all you females who love twilight...try picking up a real novel. Pride and Prejudice.

It's actually intellectual. Actually worth reading. And hopefully, when I finish reading this book, the ending will be more fulfilling. And guess what? It only took one book to make it good.

So it's not like I'm gonna pick up any romance novel I can get a hold of, but I'm gonna give some of the good ones a chance in the future. Problem Solved for now. But Stop writing Twilight please.

Realization's

2010-02-14T00:52:00.002-07:00

The world is full of information. I feel like I get pumped with arbitrary mumbo-jumbo every single day at higher than DSL speeds. Some things, I want to know allll about, and other things...I'd rather just have the surface wikipedia knowledge of it. And yet other things. Those dreaded other things. That knowledge that you can only get by experience. Those are the times when no one can tell you what to do, how to act, or what to believe. You just have to find out THAT knowledge for yourself.

And that knowledge-- I call a realization. blind-blind-blind-blind-see. It's just that easy. You think you see something one way, but in reality, its the complete opposite. And one day, something clicks and you find yourself saying, "I should have known all along."

red-red-red-red-blue.

Realizations. sigh. a good sigh. A relieving sigh. And that's how I feel.

Right now, I'm Vincible. But I realized, that's okay. Being vincible allows the world to work on me. It allows the outside influences to control a part of me. Without these, I wouldn't learn.

We can only hope for realizations in our lifetime. Who knows when the next one will come along?

And while we're at it..

2010-02-07T21:56:00.002-07:00

I opened up my old computer today. If you recall, I bought a new macbook pro at the beginning of last semester, and the old HP has sat in my bedroom closet for a while, collecting dust. But the thing about my HP is that is has a majority of my writings on it. Much of the writings have come from my even older desktop that I had in highschool. Man, I used to write about a lot of things. I used to take 30 minutes every day just to write about things that I remembered. Well today I was reading through a few of these things, and found a little morsel of entertainment. I'm attempting to write a book nowadays which is called Alpine Mesa, and it's a fictional tale based upon my old neighborhood growing up. Naturally, i was trying to recall some of the memories and I found this one in the old archive of writings. None of this is edited, so there are grammar problems and all that, but I just thought I'd share an old memory:

Perhaps the most interesting of characters in our lives were mark and eric Grimsby. I don’t know whether we adored or despised them. I think it went in waves. There were times that the rest of us neighborhood kids would by in our fort in the backyard, and see marc chugging that bike up the hill, because he was overweight, even at that young age. And all the kids would shout ‘mark alert! Mark alert!” so as to advertise that mark was coming, and we needed to find our hiding places as soon as possible. We scrambled away in our different directions searching for cover. He always found as, and we always ended up playing with him, but sometimes reluctantly. We remember the time when mark started to smoke cigarettes, and asked josh and I if we wanted to join. Marks parents smoked, so he stole some out of their carton. He stole lighters, and he went to the woods by our house and smoked. Those woods scared us badly. There were known as rape woods. We remember one of our friends got kidnapped and raped in those woods, and ever since, we never ventured into the woods, even if we lost a baseball. But mark would go in there, and with this picture, we saw everything bad in mark. When a man entered rape woods, we thought he would never come out. And no matter how many times we saw mark after that, he held a bad light about him. His brother eric was a little better. My brother liked eric more than I did. One time mark cut his brother with a knife on the arm. He went home and told his parents that it was I who had cut eric. Eric went along with his older brother, and his parents told me that mark and eric wouldn’t be able to play with me any more till I confessed to cutting eric. I didn’t do it. I knew I didn’t do it, but mark and eric were the best baseball players in the neighborhood, and we needed them to play with us in the coul-de-sac or else it just wasn’t fun. So one day I decided that id go and admit to my mistake of cutting eric. I still regret that I did that. This was my first experience with blackmail, and im surprised that I gave in so easily. i still despise mark for doing that to me. No one knew thatd be a big moment in my life, but I didn’t cut eric, I wouldn’t hurt him. But apparently they would hurt me. This disgusted me. Mark and eric stuck around a long time. Wed sneak out in the middle of the night toghther. We jumped out my bedroom window, and my bedroom was a neon green because my parents let me pick the color of my room, and that’s the one I picked. One time mark and eric were watching child’s play at their house, and I was supposed to stay the night. It didn’t happen, because that movie scared me so bad at that age. I had night terrors for a long time after that. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. His father had playboy pictures hanging in the garage. At my age, I wondered how his wife could let him have naked pictures of girls hanging in plain sight. Sometimes, us boys would go out into the garage just to catch a peek of our first naked lady. That house encompassed all that was bad in the world. They did terrible things, and blamed it on everyone else. How I hate everything the grimsby’s stood for, but was too young to know it. The one thing they did good for me was they taught me how to chew my food with my mouth closed. It stuck with me and I still practice it. But it was just because of how much they yelled at me when I was eating over at their home. I can still remember their RV they had in their backyard that was covered with moss, and it just stood there. Never moved. I hated that raggedy thing.

And there you have it, a memory. Pretty crazy old neighborhood of mine. I was reminded of this memory as I was talking to a friend of mine earlier this month. Crazy lives, we live.

2010-02-07T13:06:00.002-07:00

We, the people, love to celebrate. I often wonder what America (I don't mention any other country because I'm ignorant of all other countries' affairs. "Those stupid American's. I think I'll go to the Nike outlet and buy their products.") would be like without celebrations. I mean, we make up holidays just for the sake of it in order to celebrate. Halloween? St. Patrick's day? Groundhog's day? Alllll made up, but I love it. But as I celebrate my 50th blog post tonight by using my KFC gift cards that I got from grandpa for Christmas, I'll be sure to celebrate a few things as I drool over the mashed taters and buttermilk biscuits. So here are some things to celebrate:

The precious union of love: I don't yet think of myself as old or weathered, but i find that the longer I go living in this world, the more of my friends find this love. One of my closest and most satirical blogmates, Mormonmetalmonster, is tying the knot this month. And while I hope that he still finds it in his schedule to post a few entries here and there, I am pretty excited for him. How he and his new wife met is pretty cosmic in itself.

Now I'm not a big advocate of this marriage thing. Let's get that straight. Sometimes, love just doesn't work out the way you want it to. Ask Bristol Palin. Hell, ask a lot of people. But here's to celebrating love. If you're happy, I'm happy (for the most part). And while traditional Japanese folks don't find this 'love' thing imperative to happiness, America has watched enough Nicholas Sparks' adaptations and Jane Austen features to know that 'true love will find you in the end.'

Friends. This one is cliche. We all have friends, and we all love our friends, and we all wouldn't know what to do without them. But just because it's a common thing, doesn't mean its not something to celebrate. And let's be straight here, friends come in a few different catagories:

Past Friends: Sometimes you look back on life for a second, and realize that some of your best friends five years ago are nowhere to be found today. You may not know which station any of them are at in life. But I think that's okay. All that matters is at some point, at some time, that friend was there to brighten your life. And it means a lot to you. Where would I be without Derek Lemmon introducing me to Incubus? I mean, I don't even listen to that band anymore, but whoa...when I did. Where would I be without Robbie Thomas teaching me how to make fun of people? The art has truly been perfected. And it doesn't mean I'm not friends with these people anymore, but its not like we hang out everyday, and that's okay.

Current Friends: Every year, I feel like I can ever have another group of friends that I love as much as I do at that time. And it's true about this year too. And it's really strange--you meet these people in the most unlikely of places. Every night I sit back and think, "my life is amazing, and it's all because of other people." If life goes on as it has been going, I'll have the greatest friends in the world by the time I'm 60, and after that, maybe I'll have enough practice to BE one of those great friends.

I don't think anything else I can say will top the first two things to celebrate, so let's just celebrate those. This blog post is getting too long, so let's also celebrate Blogs, for gosh-sakes.

Wii-ping at the thought

2010-01-07T15:20:00.002-07:00

Let's get the housekeeping outta the way first. Judging by the fact that you're reading this blog, you either miss this blog quite a bit, or this is your first time reading. If it's the latter, just stop reading right now unless you want another addiction to add to your daily readership of PerezHilton.com and People magazine. I know, I know. I, too, was misled by the fact that the cover of 'People' made it look like Tiger Woods was jockeying Jessica Simpson, only to find out that that would just be too good to be true. And hey, if you're already addicted to this blog, all I can tell you is that its actually a gateway blog. Sorta like marijuana--which I know will catch a lot of people's eye(s).

But that's not the point. This blog post is long overdue, since its beginnings were somewhere closer to Late Novemeber. My trip back to Seattle for the holidays have only perpetuated the thoughts I had. So here I am, trying to briefly explain to you something of my distaste for the Wii videogame console.

But before I start explaining to you why the Wii is looked upon with dark shame, I'll give you a brief history of my relationship with Nintendo. I know, none of you wanna hear about past relationships, but I feel like my relationship with Nintendo can be shared by quite a few people since Nintendo was pretty much (and still is) something of a whore. Yeah, she gave us all a bit of joy, but at what cost?

Let's start with the Super NES. I guess you could call this the start of an unhealthy relationship I had with Nintendo. I guess part of it was my fault, because I'd be sneakin' off with my other trick--the Sega Genesis, on weekends. But I just wasn't into Nintendo at this point. Sure, I liked Mario and yeah, I liked Contra, but nothing with this console really caught my eye. Not like Sonic and Tales. And speaking of Sonic and Tales, does anyone know if Tales was a chick or what? Like I always had the feeling that Sonic was filled with testosterone and ready to just give anyone the spike, while tales was just missing something. I think Tales used to be a pretty cool cat, but someone thought it a good idea to have her spayed and she lost the thunder. "Whatever, Sonic. I'm here with ya, I'll just be rollin along." I dunno which was worse, getting stuck as player 2 using Luigi, or getting stuck as player 2 using Tales. You were never real comfortable with either.

1997 brought new life back into my relationship with Nintendo. 64 bits of pure energy came along and just blew me away. This was a huge boost in our relationship. I like to think that I can compare the NES to Marty McFly from Back to the Future: Just an average, everyday person who got picked on in school, and always, ALWAYS jogged around town with his hands in his pockets. Not that impressive, really. But as soon as Biff, or anyone else for that matter, called McFly "chicken," it was like McFly turned into this skateboard ridin', Johnny B. Good singin', Real life hero who could take on anyone. All of a sudden, Marty is taking unnecessary risks to prove to everyone that he aint' a coward. And THAT Marty, is like the N64.

Its amazing how much fun the N64 was, and how hard the N64 had to work to be awesome. Just for hells sake, I wikipedia'd the Nintendo 64. Because it used beastly cartridges, no game developers really wanted anything to do with creating games for the N64. It was too hard, and the cartridge was limiting to developers in terms of scope and graphics of the games. So what does Nintendo do? They basically give everyone the finger and they start developing games themselves. Mario 64--how fun was that? Mario Party? Anyone who has a giant scar left in the middle of their palm know the lasting effects of mania that game was. Wave Race? Finally, a game where you can ride around on jetski's and actually have fun doing it. I rode a jet ski this summer. Yeah, it was fun, but how about if dolphins started popping up next to me? How cool would that be? Oh yeah, I already know how cool that would have been, all because of WaveRace.

And then a few other developers finally started making games for them. But how many developers? Oh yeah, somewhere along the lines of 3. Thats it! 3. Today's consoles utilize hundreds of game developers, and occasionally, a good game will come along worth playing. But in the N64 days, you had "Rare" pumping out Goldeneye 64--a Classic and revolutionary in multiplayer gameplay. Also, Donkey Kong 64, Conker's Bad Fur Day, NFL Blitz. The list goes on. And then 'Midway" came along and brought us Cruisin' USA and other titles. Right now, I STILL can't tell you my favorite N64 game, because there were so many good ones! Needless to say, Nintendo and I--we had the kind of relationship that everyone talks about. We were at our peak, and lovin' it.

And then came gamecube. Gamecube was a mistake. It was like when you found out your girlfriend has been constantly texting another dude, but that he's 'just a friend.' I mean yeah, you don't say anything to her because everyone needs friends, and its probably just a friend. But deep inside, you're a little bit jealous. Afterall, at one point, you were 'just a friend' too. We can all remember back at the NES days--just friends. Was there anything good about Gamecube? I guess the controllers were comfortable. At that point, I guess I was already showin interest in another sleek lady--the Xbox.

And then, to everyones joy and amazement, Nintendo reviived herself with a bold move. The Wii. The Wii is like that ugly girl in middle school. Everyone is nice to her and think shes funny, but man, whats with the headgear? Then you wake up one day in High School, and you see her walking around campus, and you can't even believe its her. All of a sudden, Dorky girl in middle school turns into BABE overnight. Every guy instantly forgets about 8th grade, and can't get BABE outta his dreams. Yeah, thats the Wii. From Gamecube to the Wii. Everyone was back on board. Except one guy: Me.

Here's why. Wii was clever, they came out with that little motion stick that lets you point in different places and move around and all this, and it tracks your movement on the TV. But here's the thing: If i want movement, why not just go outside and do something? If i want to go bowling and make every single motion of bowling, why wouldn't I just drive ten mins to the nearest bowling alley, and bowl? If I actually wanna pretend to swing a tennis racket, then by all means, I want to hit a REAL ball! And that's the thing, I don't want my videogame to be so close to the real thing that it becomes the real thing! I like it when people say, 'wow, im better at aiming a gun in real life than I am in Halo' That's a good thing! That means that this is a VIDEOGAME and not real life. If you wanted to go shoot a real gun, you'd do it.

Back in the 18--blah-blah, the realist movement came along. One day someone decided that art should look exactly like the real thing. So artists started painting things EXACTLY how they looked. But no one really liked em. I mean, yeah, they probably took more skill to paint than those abstract works put out by picasso and others, but was it really art? If you wanted to see a real scene, you'd just hop in your Ford T-model, ride down the road, and get your portrait taken. They had photographs, which came out exactly as real life. Why paint something to look exactly how it is? How much meaning can you glean from a painting if it takes no artistic liberties?

So that's what Wii is to me. An attempt to make videogame more like real life. But me, I liked videogames back when it wasn't real life. I like to press a button, and your virtual man jumps. I don't want to get on a skateboard in my living room and lean back and forth and jump around. If i wanted to do that, I'd just go get on my skateboard at home. And another thing--Wii Fit. Has there been ANY success stories of this thing making anybody fitter? Honestly, everyone wants this thing, but it's not a substitute for exercise.

In conclusion, Me and Nintendo have broken up. We're no longer together. And I think it's somewhat my fault. I'd like to stay back in the olden days where videogames were fantasy, and she wants to move on to bigger and better things. For me, I'll take my Xbox controller and press buttons all day, and THEN go outside and play a little tennis. Rather than play a little fake tennis on the TV, and then rave about how real it is. Eff You Wii, I don't want you back.

Sincerely, Alex

2009-12-09T15:14:00.003-07:00

For advertising this week, we were assigned to come up with an 60-second original radio advertisement for the company of our choice. Because I had donated blood the night before, I decided I'd do a little something to promote the Red Cross of America. Hopefully one of their CEO's google-searches this (With the help of blogspots search optimizing capabilities) and wants to purchase this from me. If not, it's just a funny bit....

(Announcer) With all this hype about vampires, we decided to sneak into the Annual World Vampire Conference. Let's listen in.

(Vampire 1) Attention fellow Vampires! With all this recent publicity, humans are beginning to see us as civilized beings...

(Vampire 2) Yeah, My cousin Edward is even dating a human

(Vampire 3) Yeah, but it took him like four years to finally grow the fangs to ask her out. And even then, the human had to pick between him and a werewolf. Tell me one interesting thing about a wolf. Oh, they hunt in packs...whooop dee doooooo.

(Vampire 1)...Enough! Look, we've been evil creatures for too long. We can't just lose that reputation now! So we've decided that from now on, we'll be doing exactly the opposite of what we've been doing for centuries.

(Vampire 2) err...what about the blood?

(Vampire 1) That's right. Instead of drinking blood, we'll be giving it away.

(Vampire 2) Who we gonna give it to?

(Vampire 1) I know just the right people..

(Announcer) The American Red Cross. Be Opposite. Give Blood. Give Life.

The nine types of people you'll meet at BYU

2009-11-25T20:04:00.004-07:00

Since it is Thanksgiving break ("Omg. I can't wait till break! That way I can go home and spend my WHOLE day on facebook, instead of just the time that I'm pretending to do homework."), I decided to pump out a random piece of editorial meat and see how many people bite. Despite being a cool way to make myself look cooler at BYU, the purpose of this is just to be bored and complain about it. So enjoy...

The Ten Types of People you meet at BYU

The Dating Guy

This guy just wants to go on a date. He doesn't care what day of the week it is. He doesn't mind that you have a mid-term tomorrow that you need to study for, he just wants to go on a date. Usually, you can find this guy at the dollar store pickin out five items to dress his date up in, while she's doing the same. You can find him at kmart playing catch in the aisle to the extreme dismay of the employee who has to tell him he's gay. You'll always see the Dater coming up with new, cute idea's like visiting everyone he knows and randomly turning items in their house upside-down. He'll think the most retarded idea's are funny, like riding the elevators up and down in the Kimball Tower. Girls love this guy, but don't think he's marriage material--mostly because after he's done playing horseshoes with you on the BYU football field, He'll be out with another girl attempting to speak only spanish (a language he doesn't know) to the attendant at Beto's (where he'll eventually grow up and work).

I'm from Cali

These are the people who are from California that feel like they need to bring this up every couple of mins. They are currently recruiting every non-california resident to go with them to the Newly-opened In-N-out burger at 2am, even though they've already been there 15 times since it's opened two days ago. The reason they want to bring you to this is to prove to you that California is the best. And to top it off, they'll order from the "secret menu" when they get there, just to show you that they've done this before, in Cali. When you tell these people that you want to go snowboarding, they say, "That's cool. But do you know what is better? Surfing. I love surfing." These people will tell you right before each break, "Oh, I can't wait to go to disneyland when I get home." Guess what? We don't care what temperature it is in Laguna Beach. So stop telling us.

The Over-the-Top Liberal Girl

The OTTLG can be seen at every 'debate' at BYU. She wears clothes trying to convince everyone that she's a lesbian, even though she's clearly heterosexual that had a bad experience with some dude from home who wasn't as liberal as she originally thought he was. He probably decided not to donate to PETA last month and it burned her to the soul. This girl is probably a vegan and tells everyone that she meets about it. She wears 'Save Darfur' wrist bands and plays the harmonica. Everytime OTTLG speaks in class, even the liberals let out a moan and wonder if they'll ever donate to the not-for-profit organization that she eventually works for.

Douche-nugget conservative

Neither of us know which is worse: The DNC or the OTTLG. But this guy gives the liberal girl a run for her money. With this guy, everything is Obama's fault. If this guy scores poorly on his econ test, it's because Obama socialized the testing center by making everyone shave before they enter. This is the guy who pretends to peruse the Wall Street Journal while eating lunch in the WILK. Then he tries to start up conversations with people about their feelings on macro-economics in the United States, even though the girl sitting next to him just told him that she's a psychology major. Usually, his ideas about politics are firmer and less flexible than his hair, which is matted together with half a bottle of 'Got2BeGlued.' The goal of this guy is to do his best to create an atmosphere where no one wants to talk. His role models are Ronald Reagan and anyone who hates Obama. This guy doesn't believe Obama was born in the United States. Oft-times, you can find DNC looking at pictures of Sarah Palin on the internet.

The White shirt and tie

This person isn't necessarily a dude, but you'll always find this person dressed up for some reason like they're going to church. Anyday of the week, they'll walk into class wearing a white shirt and tie with absolutely no explanation for it. At least twice a week, you'll overhear them saying, "What can I say? You dress for the job you want, right?" Wrong. Something tells me this guy already has a job at Wells Fargo. And I'm pretty sure he's dressed the same way his entire life. Most likely, he'll try to tell you that he's singing in some sort of men's choir today for some obscure meeting, but the truth is that he still thinks he's on his mission. If this is a female, you probably won't ever hear her speak. She'll always be looking down at her copy of 'New Moon' trying to draw comparisons to the gospel. Even if she did want to talk to you, you have no idea what to say. So instead, you act like the clothes they're wearing are camoflauge that blend into their surroundings. The only evidence you have that they're even there is the smell of Adidas cologne that they got for Christmas 2 years ago.

The Movie Quoter

Yes, we've seen The Princess Bride. After every time this person speaks, they wait a few seconds, and then say, "What's that from?!" Most of us look at them like they have just asked a rhetorical question because we know that the answer is coming whether we like it or not. I usually respond with, "Brokeback Mountain," because that's the only film I can imagine this person watching in order to become this unlikable. When you're around this person, you avoid saying anything that can be considered riske, because you can't handle hearing 'that's what she said' for the umpteenth time. The problem with movie quoters: they seem to be attracted to those movies that you absolutely hate, and they quote them often. BYU is filled with these people.

The Sports Fan

GOOOOOOO COUGARS!! checkin local sports blogs, gettin the next big scoop on some obscure offensive lineman, calling up potential recruits and telling them how long they've been a Cougar fan. All these things are characteristic of the Sports Fan. This is the guy who whispers stats into your ear at the games. He gives all the players nick-names and acts like he knows them personally. He's attended every rally, and complains about the top-25 rankings every week. "Howwww can BYU be ranked this low? We have MAX HALL! do they know who that is? Max effing Hall!!" These are those who believe the Mountain West can compete with any other conference, and can tell you the score to BYU racquetball match last night. "This is the year, guys. This is OUR year."

The Super Smart One

How do they know the answer to every question? Why do they know the in's and out's of this subject before taking the class? This girl can answer every question in a matter-of-factly way. She is that girl who sets the curve on the Ochem test at a ridiculously high mark, and then leaves the rest of us out to dry with our 54%'s. She also complains about receiving and A- on a current events 3-page paper. Yeah, she'll complain aloud so the rest of us can hear her. While you're studying facebook, she's probably getting prepped for next semesters classes by going over the textbook.

The Techie

You'll find the techie writing blogs over his Thanksgiving break. He usually is the only one in the apartment with a twitter account--and even has special programs he uses to manage his twitter and facebook accounts. This guy probably doesn't know anything about computers, but he's the guy you go to if you need to find weird websites that help you with assignments. This guy thinks he's so cool, but really, he's a freaking loser. He complains about everyone else, but doesn't realize that owning a blackberry doesn't make him any more sophisticated. This is the one guy who has a preference on which internet browser he uses, and wants everyone else to know about it. He probably uses a Mac, and when you tell him that he's on facebook too much, he'll make a new friendslist with you on it--only so he can block you from seeing that he's online. Yeah, this guy sucks. He probably uses random facts that he 'read on the internet' whenever he speaks. Guess what, techie? I don't care. You suck.

Here's a few movies that suck...

2009-11-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

So my buddy Dan just spent countless hours writing about some of the movies he hates. No doubt, this took him a long time because of how many crappy movies there are out there. I mean, you can’t really write about the OBVIOUSLY terrible movies (Dudley Do Right, Anything involving Johnny Knoxville, Transformers ((or should I say Michael Bay’s green screen)), and any sequel that wasn’t written as a book first). There’s just no point because I think everyone already hates these movies, at least on the inside.

But as much as I hate some of these awful peices of so-called ‘art,’ I also love some things that everyone else seems to hate. Right now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I love all this non-sense merely BECAUSE everyone hates it, and I want to be different. Mostly not true, but I guess I do find it more attractive if I think it’s purely mine. I mean, in high school I found out about yellowcard very early. I was so glad to be their fan. Then Ocean Avenue came out and everyone wanted to be out surfing along the California boardwalk. All of a sudden, I’m not one of those people. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I hate violin?

Anyway, on with the list already.

Movies that can be converted back to VHS for all I care, because I’ll never watch em again:

King Kong

The only thing King Kong had that I liked was dinosaurs. But let’s face it, it didn’t even have my FAVORITE dinosaur (veloci-raptor, duh) But seriously, I honestly wonder how long that movie is. Do you remember in Resident Evil, where some random people give this girl a drug and she wakes up with no one around and its all dark outside. She doesn’t know how long she’s been out?

Yeah, well by the end of King kong, I walked out of the theatre and it was all dark. I didn’t know how long I had been in that stupid theatre. And I felt I had been drugged with some drug that makes you wanna vomit with exhaustion. I TRIED to like that movie. It has Colin Hanks and Jack Black in it. But frankly, they were horrible. Watching Jack Black try to act serious is like watching that puppet from “Saw” do an Irish jig. You just cant take it seriously.

2. Lady in the Water

wait, THIS is the same guy that did the Village? now that I cant beli….wait, what? did you just say this is the same guy that did unbreakable?! I don’t think that can be possi….hold on now Henry! You CANT tell me that this is the same guy that did The Sixth Sense!!! Is this one of those tricks where like the whole time I’m thinking your telling me the truth, and at the end you’re lying to me? Isn’t that the plot for sixth sense? Okay, Okay I believe that this is true. But still, I just didn’t think Paul Giamatti would do a film this terrible. Ohhhhhh, so this is what you call a post-oscar type of role. Where you get to be very selective and all that kinda stuff.

If you’re thinking about seeing this film because M. Night Shamalayanmans directed it, Don’t. Save yourself the rental fee. And if you rent from netflix, save yourself the trouble of having to write “return to sender” on the envelope. You know how sometimes people build a reputation for producing good products, and then one day you realize you should have sold high? Yeah, like Hewlitt Packard. This is the type of director I’m urging you to sell immediately.

3. Any movie not named “Disturbia” that Shia Lebouf is in.

Eagle Eye–”Oh no! The Bush administration is spying on everyone and calling it the Patriot Act! Let’s make a movie about it and act like its the coolest thing alive!”

Ok, we get your political statement. You don’t like Bush spying on you. But I’m gonna tell you right now, the only act of patriotism regarding this movie is not seeing it. If the plot wasn’t bad enough, you have technology that can follow you everyone you go. And the ending (spoiler alert. Although, the movie sucks anyway) is that a robot is trying to run the country. Like we haven’t seen that one before Will Smith. (I just thought of this. All movies that end with robots trying to take over sucks. Because I mean, has anyone seen Stealth? I only wish that movie would have been stealthy enough to allow me never to see it. Thanks Jessica Biel. After all that work building an honest reputation on 7th Heaven, you go and blow it with a high-flying filth collector of a movie. You’re not so hot anymore, are you Mary?)

Transformers: You suck. If I wanted to watch GC all day, I’d just play halo.

You know Shia, you really ruined it. YOu were so good in Even Stevens. Try and pick better roles, because athough you’re scoring Megan Fox, I’m starting to question whether you take yourself seriously. Get it together man!

And the original transcript: Larry Stone

2009-11-10T18:13:00.002-07:00

Transcript:

1. Why did you go into journalism? I didn't have any great goals or epiphanies when I started out other than I liked to write, and I liked sports, and since I wasn't good enough to play them beyond high school, writing about them seemed like the next best thing. And I was right.

2. How did your break in the field? When I was a freshman in college (Cal-Berkeley) -- with no idea what I wanted to do with my life -- there was an ad in the school newspaper seeking sportswriters. I decided it sounded like fun (see above) and answered the ad. It just so happened that the person who covered the Cal baseball team had come down with mono that week. They asked me if I wanted to cover Cal baseball for the rest of the season. I said, 'Sure,' not knowing what the heck that entailed. But I figured it out, with some guidance, and I was hooked. The next season, I became staff writer, and by my junior year I was sports editor. After graduation, I sent out applications to newspapers up and down the West Coast, and was hired by the Yakima Herald-Republic.

3. How do you define “good” journalism? Good journalism is fair, accurate and interesting. If you can fulfill those three criteria with every story, you'll have served your purpose well. Speaking as a sportswriter, our job is to illuminate the personalities of the teams we cover, and get the inside story of why the management makes the decisions it does.

4. Do you feel like your news organization practices “good” journalism? Absolutely. In 30 years in newspapers, I've never seen anyone motivated to "get" somebody they didn't like. Virtually without fail, the motivation is always to serve the public's right to know, to tell both sides of the story, to give the readers interesting and insightful copy. Whenever we write a controversial story, someone always grumbles, "You guys just want to sell newspapers.'' Of course we do -- and you do that by writing good, fair, compelling stories. Occasionally they're negative toward the team or certain individuals, but that's unavoidable. Sometimes, they've done negative things.

5. How would you define the type of journalism you do? I cover major-league baseball, so I do a variety of stories. Some are personality profiles, some are opinion columns, some are game stories, some are analysis, some are news stories on trades, signings, etc. I guess it's informational journalism with the goal of entertaining and edifying. Nowadays everyone watches the game and sees the highliight shows. By the time the paper comes out in the morning, they need something news, and we can do that by taking them inside the clubhouse, and inside their minds. The one thing we have to sell is access, and I try to use that as intelligently as possible.

6 Does your organization allow you to do the type of journalism you want to do?
We have a fair amount of leeway, especially with the advent of blogs. We can now do videos, live shows, chats, photos -- a far larger scope than existed five years ago, when it was pretty much a straight story. But we still have to get permission from our bosses to do anything too avant garde.

7. How does the journalism you practice serve your community? Again, I'm a baseball writer, so I'm not exposing corruption or anything that grand. But judging by the 2 million-plus fans that attend Mariner games each year, there is a tremendous amount of interest in baseball, and we serve the community, I suppose, by covering the team. Beyond that, we attempt to be a watchdog, of sorts, on issues that involve the public expenditure of money (stadiums, etc.) and on issues involving fans and tickets, etc.

8. What is your opinion about recent movements such as community, citizen, civic, and public journalism? I'm somewhat concerned that there are so many voices out there that it's getting impossible to know who are legitimate sources and who are frauds. But perhaps that just the beauty of it all -- readers can decide that for themselves. Yet with all the different voices, I still think there is a need for reputable reporters attached to legitimate news organizations. While the "citizen journalists'' do a great job (in some instances) commenting on and analysing the news, for the most part it is still the traditional journalists who are breaking the news that they analyse and comment upon.

9. Have you ever had an experience in which you felt your work as a journalist really made a difference? Not in any profound way -- at least that pops to mind. But I have had many people tell me that what I wrote brightened their day, or made them laugh, or entertained them, and I consider that my small contribution to humankind.

10. How have your views about journalism changed over the years? I have become more pessimistic about the future of newspapers, for obvious reasons. I have worked for newspapers for 30 years, as I said, so I have a considerable investment in them, and it saddens me to see what has become of the industry. But I remain convinced that while the medium might change, and there might someday soon no longer be the physical product of a newspaper, the work that we do -- producing stories and analysis -- will always be coveted in some form. I also am gaining confidence that newspapers will eventually figure out -- or stumble upon -- a business model that works. The problem is not that people aren't reading newspapers anymore; if you count the online editions, more people are reading than ever. The challenge is to figure out a way to make that profitable.

11. Have you been affected by dropping circulations, ratings, layoffs, and growth of citizen journalism? Absolutely. While I have not been laid off myself, so many people have been laid off or taken buyouts at my paper that the nature of my job has changed dramatically. I used to rarely cover games myself; I would write feature stories or columns, and other people would handle the game coverage. Now, because of staff attrition, I am needed much more for daily game coverage, which keeps me from writing the columns, etc. Also, I am not traveling nearly as much because of budget cuts (this is the second year in a row I haven't covered the baseball postseason, after doing so for about 12 years in a row). And I've had to take five unpaid furlough days this year because of concessions bargained by our union. That also includes a decline in health coverage and dental.

12. What advice would you give students wanting to go into journalism? I would advise them to be open-minded and innovative about what sort of career they might embark upon. Journalism is becoming far more expansive than it was when I was a student in the 1970s. If you wanted to be in journalism, you either worked for TV, radio, or newspapers. Now, there's a whole universe of options, some of them very non-traditional. In fact, the non-traditional might be the ones with the brightest future. BUT: You still need to learn the basics of writing, you still have a spin a good yarn, you still have to be fair, accurate and entertaining. Do that, and you will go far.

Interview with Larry Stone

2009-11-10T18:10:00.002-07:00

Larry Stone is a baseball beat writer for The Seattle Times. Currently, he writes about the Seattle Mariners. He has been in the newspaper business for over 30 years. As Stone realized that he was not good enough to play any sports, he decided he’d do the next best thing: write about them.
Stone started off his career writing about the baseball team at the University of California during his freshman year. He enjoyed the gig so much, that he was asked to continue writing for the baseball team through his senior year. He soon found a job at the Yakima Daily Herald. After the Herald, Stone landed a job at The Seattle Times.
One of the things that impresses me about Stone is that he is a strong advocate for producing compelling, accurate journalism. He openly admits that his number one goal is to sell newspapers—yet he believes this only can be achieved through writing stories that people are interested in. He concedes that although he does not uncover corruption in the government or anything of that grand manner, there are two million spectators who attend Mariners games per year—making baseball a popular and relevant subject in Seattle.
Stone holds a pessimistic attitude concerning the future of newspapers. For example, he is worried about all those who claim to be journalists when they do not have the credentials or experience needed to produce continuous quality work. He believes people are placing entirely too much trust in a group of people who are unproven and biased. He also knows that while the medium might change, there will always be demand for those who investigate and report news.
This was especially important to me. Larry Stone has seen many of his colleagues laid off in recent years. He has seen the rival newspaper, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, become virtually a non-entity in the city of Seattle by becoming a web-based newspaper. This leaves The Seattle Times virtually unchecked in the Seattle market. Regardless, Stone is under pressure to produce high quality results with fewer resources and time.
“I used to rarely cover games myself; I would write feature stories or columns, and other people would handle the game coverage. Now, because of staff attrition, I am needed much more for daily game coverage, which keeps me from writing the columns,” said Stone. Stone also reports that he has not been able to travel as much recently for the newspaper. It appears as if he must really love his job in order to be continually working as hard as he does.
Stone mentioned that a new wave of journalism has come into play. He advised me to be open-minded about the future of my career because the field of journalism is so expansive. “There’s a whole universe of options, some of them very non-traditional. In fact, the non-traditional might be the ones with the brightest future.”
I think this statement defined what journalism is becoming. Journalism is a dynamic field in which journalists may find a job if they are hardworking and always willing to find the story. It is interesting to know that the traditional formula for good journalism business has been virtually thrown out the window. If we are to succeed in modern journalism, we must be open for change.
Stone reported that the journalists at the Seattle Times received a fair amount of leeway for their creative works. He mentioned that he has now started a blog (which I frequent), and has created video interviews and multimedia that are posted to the Internet.
Going along with this idea, I found it interesting that someone who has been in the industry for as long as Stone has is completely willing to throw out nearly all he has known and replace it with something new and unproven. It seems to show that journalists are indeed working for the public. If the public wants to collect and intake their news through a different medium than the physical newspapers, then the newspapers and journalists must adapt in order to continue to provide that news.
When asked whether or not Stone feels like he had inspired anyone by his writing, Stone replied, “Not in any profound way -- at least that pops to mind. But I have had many people tell me that what I wrote brightened their day, or made them laugh, or entertained them, and I consider that my small contribution to humankind.” This is truly my goal. I want to help others out by the small and simple contributions to society. Then I will feel like I have become a true journalist.

2009-10-21T00:55:00.002-06:00

Hello, and welcome back. Today I read a very intriguing story from the New York Times. I don't think that it was trying to promote anything except understanding, pure understanding. I think there are so many assumptions and delusions about other people's culture that we just choose to accept as fact, that we forget that much of it is completely false.
This particular article stems around a journalist who is taken captive by the Taliban for months at a time. The journalist gets to know some of his captors, and explains their thoughts on western culture. For example, one of the captors asked the journalist, 'is it true that the neck-tie is the secret symbol indicating you're christian'?

The article is called " You have Atomic Bombs, We have suicide Bombers."

Here is the link: you will not want to ignore this.

If you can't find time to read the whole article, or if you just need a teaser to see if its worth your time, I'll provide one. Again, all the credit goes to David Rohde of the New York Times, and can be found at nytimes.com:

"I tried to get to know one of the guards, who was preparing to be a suicide bomber. A young man in his 20s with a slim build and brown eyes, he said he had studied engineering in high school. He never attended college but was relatively well educated compared with the other fighters.
When I asked him why he wanted to die, he replied that living in this world was a burden for any true Muslim. Heaven was his goal, he said. Earthly relationships with his parents and siblings did not matter. "

Wow, what a wonderful piece of reporting. Everyone should be informed on this topic.

Something to chew on

2009-10-18T10:29:00.000-06:00

I've discovered this new dimension of the NYT. It has nothing to do with me in Provo, Utah. But it has everything to do with me at the same time. It's a local thing they do called one in eight million. Every week, the NYT does a feature piece on someone in New York, and they tell their story using pictures. It's actually a super good idea, and even though you never actually get to hear the voice of the journalist, you get to see the life of these people through images and audio.

Here's one I really liked. Its about a real life gangsta. Check that ish out.

Listen, I know y'all arent that interested in the same things I am, but if you're ever bored and need some entertainment that is educational, check this motha out.

What the hell is twitter?!

2009-10-15T15:36:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I've been getting that question a lot. Instead of answering all of your inquires separately, I've decided to use social media to broadcast the message to you.

Okay, so now you know what it is I've been blabbin' about for the last few months. My name is @ahairston.

It seems like no one really direct messages me, but the power of twitter comes in who you follow. See, when you follow someone you admire, they post links to the things they are reading. You get a feel for what it is that those you admire care about. You then start believing in those things, and re-tweet them, making it possible for the people who admire you to know what you like. In this way, it is very easy to become assimilated with people you like that don't know you on a personal level.

For example, I love alyssa milano. So i follow her on twitter. Now I'm starting to like the stuff she does, so that one day, when I meet here, We'll be able to have something in common. I know that when we meet, she will instantly fall in love with me. All because of Twitter. Get it? Good.

Uh oh. Dire straights.

2009-10-01T01:29:00.002-06:00

A good thing to do is: go to the new york times website, click on the link that says 'most popular' and read all the stories that pop up. It's very interesting what you will find. As for the subject I want to talk about--it was number one on the list.

It was an op-ed talking about how there is no 'we' in politics anymore. Everything is so right-wing or left-wing. People are making threats upon the president's life. A facebook survey came out that asked 'should President Obama be killed?" Many people participated in the survey.

Here's the thing. This week on facebook, there was a survey going around which measured all the stats of your friends. In the political spectrum, my stats reported that I had 29% democrat friends, and the rest Republican. No big deal, right? But I mean come on. How old do you think my parents were when they chose their political status. I wonder how old my mom was when she registered as a republican? I want to know if my dad is just a registered Democrat, or just votes that way since I can ever remember? But where did this start? Were people my age ever as involved as we are in politics. Has a younger generation ever turned out in more numbers to vote than us?

I'd have to say that I doubt it. With the internet, we've hit a wave of young folks wanting things to be different. The only problem I forsee is that I don't really think we have any idea what we're doing. We're following a blind wizard-of-oz on the internet somewhere who's telling us how to trend. We're becoming more and more conscience of the issues and we're buying into unproven theories.

I'll be the first to admit: I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know whats best for the country because guess what? I don't make any sort of real money. I don't raise a family and care about kids. I don't worry about large finances or how I'm going to run my own business. I don't worry about being laid-off every day. I dont consolidate debt. I can't balance a family checkbook. I haven't had any major health problems. I can't imagine having to go to war, or sending my child to war. I dont watch mad money and hope my stock investments grow. I'm not deathly tired when I come home at night. I don't own life insurance. And I just don't know what is going on.

Experience. I think there's something to be said about experience. While I try my hardest to fulfill my duty to society, I want the experienced ones to try to fill theirs. Keep fighting for what you want. We may be in your boat someday, and when we are, god forbid we need a life jacket to save us from sinking.

if you were wondering, here is the article. BAM

Is Social Networking Good For Me?

2009-09-27T23:29:00.002-06:00

Facebook is huge. Twitter is growing. Meanwhile, everyone has been saying to me, "you know, social networking can't really be THAT good, " and "I'm sure they'll come out with studies that say that facebook is really bad for you," and "I just like to have real friends instead of virtual ones." I respect these opinions, but I can't help but notice that they come from people who spend their entire day texting other people.
And here I am being required, yes, REQUIRED to write in a blog for a class. And also, to tweet about it (if you hadn't heard, my twitter account username is: @ahairston). With all these opinions bashing these social networking sites (most of them on grounds that its new technology, and new=bad), I want to see the issue from a new angle.
Don't we all gain even just a small shot of self esteem when someone adds us as a friend? Can that feeling be bad for us? Aren't we better able to filter our true friends from our make-believe friends if we have their pictures, interests, job, and astronomical sign at the click of the mouse? Is it not a waste of time to meet someone, hang out, mingle, etc--only to find out that you not only lack similar interests, but you also have very few friends in common? If my friends don't like this person, what makes you think I'll like this person?
Is it that bad that I want to hear others' opinons in less than 140 characters? Is more information than that really necessary? In face-to-face conversations, can't I tell a lot about a person by their first 20 words? I guess the point is this: are these things really upsetting my life? Or are social networking sites enhancing it.
This article questions the validity of arguments which state, "If you're hanging out on facebook, you're not getting valuable face-to-face interaction." The article reports that there is no clear evidence that this is true. It talks about how some people are addicted to the internet, but those people are the outliers.
I like this quote: "The mythology we have is that people used to spend whole days hanging around community — like the bar at Cheers," Wellman says. "They didn't. They stayed home. If we switch from television to social networking sites, it's a switch toward sociability — not away from it."
I start to think about why exactly I like facebook so much, and I realized that it's not because I get to chat with my friends, or even hear about my friends. I really like facebook because I get to find out whats happening in the lives' of people who aren't my direct friends; the ones I can't talk to on a regular basis. I don't care what my roommates' status is; I talk to him every day. But I do care what some of my friends from high school are doing, because I never see them. If I quit facebook, it's not like I'll go and spend the time calling them. I'll spend it doing something else. So sue me.
So there you have it. I can't say I agree or disagree fully with the article. All I can say is that it does, in some way, bring me enjoyment.

The Clinton Years

2009-09-21T23:10:00.002-06:00

When I was on my mission in Mississippi for the Church, I had the opportunity to meet two very influential men. One was John Grisham; the other, Bill Clinton. What a rush. I was about a year and a half into my missionary service in the small town of Meridian, Miss. I had heard that Former Pres. Clinton was coming to speak and campaign for Hillary, and I decided that there were not many chances to meet a President in person. When we arrived at the Community College where Clinton was speaking there was hardly anyone there. But one of the guests was John Grisham. I have read almost every once of Grisham's books, and was definately star-struck. He gave his speech, and then Clinton went. Immediately, I was pulled into the stardom of Clinton.

Whether I agree with Clinton's politics or not was beside the point. This man has dined with some of the smartest, most influential men on the planet. In the late seventeenth century, France used to hold dinners in their palaces, the invited guests being the brightest, most colorful philosophers and artists and thinkers in all the world. Benjamin Franklin, in particular, was one of the main attractors. I ask myself: what would it be like to be a fly on that wall? What would I learn listening to a conversation of these men?

And although Clinton will never live up to the standards of Ben Franklin, you must admit that he holds a certain respect. In his presidency, he met with the leaders of nations, pioneers of human rights, military foes, and the like. And I say again: what would it be like to be a fly on that wall?

And now, the President's memoirs are being released. The story was released in the USA Today, and can be found here. We get to see how the man behind the scandal reacted;how he dealt with the Oklahoma City Bombing, and other instances. It's always interesting to find the 'why' behind history. That is why I'm excited to hear his story from inside the Whitehouse.

I will say this. Presidents have scandals. From JFK's highly publicized affairs, to Nixon's unfortunate, yet calculated, fall from the Presidency. The public needs to know about the flaws, and will continue to investigate until the whole truth comes out. And even then, we'll still look further into it.

Examples such as this show how we will always want more from our president. We will make films and follow our President's lives until the day they day. And that is what they sign up for.

It is important to track history as accurately as possible. Afterall, the truth always makes a better story than the lie.

Are CEO's truly sorrowful?

2009-09-20T11:37:00.002-06:00

I'm sure most of you don't really care about Washington Mutual in particular, because it was not your bank of choice. You never dealt with this company, and you never will. But I just want to take a minute to explain what WaMu, a bank, meant to me. You see, in Washington, we never had JP Morgan Chase bank. It just wasn't in our vocabulary. Everyone I knew used WaMu because it cared about local businesses. It offered free-checking, fee-less ATM use, and really cool-looking gold debit and credit cards. It was the bank that everyone trusted would always be there. And undoubtedly, almost everyone that held stock in our area, held at least a small bit of stock in WaMu. My parents and my friends' parents banked at WaMu. I'm not sure what percentage of the market they held, but I'm positive it was substantial in our area.
And then it collapsed. I'm sure everyone has heard of AIG, Enron, etc. etc. But how many of these businesses directly effected us? The collapse of WaMu took hundreds of jobs away from people we knew; it shut down towers we thought would always be around; we got issued brand new Chase (ugly) credit cards.
All of this doesn't really concern you, but I did want to address the issue: Do CEO's of these giant companies really care about the people who's lives they've changed? In article, found here, The Seattle Times interviews the former CEO of WaMu, and he expresses concern about all these people. He claims that he feels really bad about what happened.
Says he, "I continue to reside in Seattle, where I spend much of my time helping former Washington Mutual employees find jobs and working with a variety of nonprofit organizations, particularly those with a focus on education."
He claims the loss of the bank was not his fault, and he tried all he could to stop the collapse from happening, but he couldn't forsee the housing market taking as big a dump as it had.
Here, at CNN.com, I find a video of someone who is trying to sue the bank for fraud--claiming the executives at WaMu knew they were practicing shady lending.

Can you believe that this guy pocketed 40 mil. dollars from 2003-2008? In bonuses, yes. But still. Can you trust a man who says he's trying to help the community? I have no answer to this. Because the bank was so good, I want to trust him. But then again, it would be a lot easier to have a small chunk of that 40 mil to ease the pain.

All I know is that I'm glad the economy is looking up because none of us want to have to hear about another company completely failing out of nowhere. It's just interesting how The Seattle Times seems to give him the benefit of the doubt, while CNN completely condemns Killinger. We shall never know what is the truth.

Are media sources biased?

2009-09-14T15:53:00.002-06:00

The New York Times reports that media sources are becoming more and more biased, and less and less trustworthy. We talked about this subject in class. First of all, what are the reasons that people do not trust the news that outlets are producing?

I'll give you the link--here--.

And now I'll ponder on why someone wouldn't trust a news source.

They believe the news source has it's own political agenda
Well This video is sort of interesting to watch.

The more I watch this video, the more I agree with the angry guy. He's a member of the media, and he's sick of being blamed for every miscue--whether republican or democrat. I hate that whenever something happens bad, we kill the messenger. It's not that the media produces faulty or untrustworthy news; its that the news that it does produce is unagreeable to half the people in the United States.

If I were some sort of King in the medieval days, and the same messenger kept bringing me bad news again and again, I'll soon find a way to believe that the messenger is the one I hate. ANY news will be blamed on him. If my armies to the East are getting their butt kicked by some kind of barbaric tribe, I'll fancy the idea that this messenger somehow skewed the situation and is either bringing me news I can't rely on, or news in his point of view. As a republican King, I wouldn't want to hear that my armies were being killed, but rather, that casualties were essential in sustaining the reputation of my empire.

The Times continues..

Seventy-four percent said news organizations favored one side or another in reporting on political and social issues, and the same percentage said the media were often influenced by powerful interests. Those, too, are the worst marks recorded in Pew surveys.

The REAL reason everyone thinks the media is biased is because they don't actually go to newspapers for their news. They go to Glenn Beck, they go to Keith Olbermann. They go to everyone they shouldn't be going to for news. If I need some extra money, the first people I'll go to are my parents, not a financial analyst.

kids walk around and repeat the words of their parents: "Obama is a communist." Do they read the newspapers? Will they ever read the newspapers? Maybe the day will come when people will be able to trust the news again. Until then, I'll get all my news off youtube.

What is journalism in my spectrum?

2009-09-14T01:04:00.000-06:00

Provo—In the midst of a dynamic economy, Brigham Young University continues to pump out young, inspired journalists. Although many local newspapers are shifting their focus to customers navigating the online world, BYU students argue that it does not matter which media outlet one chooses to use—people still need a reliable news source they can count on. Journalism is the act of revealing the truth to an audience. It is the transfer of ideas from one source to another. Typically, journalism requires that something “new” or “especially interesting” is incorporated in order to provide new ideas and thoughts. To this end, journalism requires a journalist, or author. A journalist is one who gathers information and relays it to an audience in an effective manner. It is imperative that a journalist conveys only facts to an audience, as a journalist may lose trust or credibility. However, facts may be interpreted in different ways as to allow a certain amount of creativity and speculation to a journalist. At BYU, students relay news through the school-wide publication, The Daily Universe. With experience, journalists can discover methods of creating interesting, and factual articles.

2009-09-10T16:02:00.002-06:00

So it's gonna cost 900 Billion over the next ten years to fund the healthcare plan? They say it'll be less than what it has cost to occupy Afghanistan and Iraq combined.

I don't know how I feel about the fact that it costs more to kill people than to keep them alive.

Experience the addiction

2009-09-07T02:05:00.003-06:00

It's been a week. A short week. One short week and I'm already becoming addicted to the news. I'm only required to read the New York Times Monday through Friday; however, even yesterday and today I had to get online and see what is what. All of a sudden I'm anxious to hear the news out of Washington DC. I want to know who's resigning next, what the Obama administration is plotting, how the GOP is somehow STILL staying its immovable hand despite being the minority. Like my addiction to sportscenter, I have found myself wondering the next matchup in the political arena. What a shame.

But latetly I've noticed a trend in the OpEd section of the NYT. It's focused on colleges. Mostly on how professors believe their incoming class of freshmen to be significantly stupider than the previous year. Although this may be true, I somewhat doubt it. But the professors did offer some advice to the incoming class. You can find it here, but for my purposes, I'll give you a small excerpt:

"Do not fear political activism. I was once at an event where a student asked Jimmy Carter how he, formerly the guardian of American law, felt years earlier when his freshman daughter was arrested at a protest against apartheid. He answered: “I cannot tell you how proud I was. If you young people cannot express your conscience now, when will you? Later you will have duties, jobs, families that make that harder. You will never be freer than now.” Also, among the activists, you are more likely to meet the intellectually adventurous people mentioned in the last item."

I love this quote. So often, the idea is held that to be arrested is a slight against one's moral character. I, for one, would think it an honorable thing to be arrested for a cause that I believe in. Do you think Martin Luther King Jr. was ashamed to be arrested? How about Rosa Parks?

Maybe we don't relate to them very well. How about these Oregon students arrested because they didn't want loggers to knock down some trees? And in a more recent movement, the Tiananmen Square Protests of 1989, shown here:

In the words of Winston Churchill, "We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire...Give us the tools and we will finish the job."

and thus it is for us, the generation of change.

6 Twitters Tweeting, 5 gooooolddden rings

2009-08-31T13:06:00.002-06:00

Salutations. Or whatever. First day of classes at the beloved Brigham Young University. I have some interesting news! But first, here is my class schedule for the semester:

Monday/Funday
Comms 239 Intro to Journalism 9:30-10:45

Comms 211 Media Writing 11-11:50

Anthro TA Office Hours 12-2:00

Tuesday/Thursday
Religion 10-10:50

Humanities Colonial Era -1876 12:05-1:20

Shakespeare 1:35-2:50

Wednesday
Same as monday except....

Comms 211 Lab 12-1:50

Anthro TA Office Hours 2-3:00

Friday
Teach Anthropology 101 Lab 10-10:50

Busy semester. I went to class today, and it was pretty awesome. I found out that it's required for me to
1. Read the New York Times daily (I guess they're finally realize that they need to liberal-ize the student population a bit before teaching us anything. good call BYU.)
2. Update a blog on topics relating to stories in the NYT. Luckily, I already keep a blog. And luckily for you, it'll probably continue to be the same address. So you few, you lucky few, you band of brothers...will be able to see updates very frequently. Yay if you like, Nay if you hate. But if you comment on my blog, I get credit. sooooo....yeah
3. For those of you who had been following me on twitter and have been distressed because I never update it, you're in for a surprise. It is required of me to update my twitter about three times a week, at least. So here I am avoiding getting caught up in the twitter world, and my instructor starts requiring me to become actively involved. Sheesh. So I will now get updates to my phone, etc. So let me know if YOU have twitter, so i can follow you too.

And that's only half my classes. I'm off to read the New York Times on the toil.....err..umm..couch. Good tidings

It's a celebration of sorts

2009-08-26T01:09:00.002-06:00

Although I have progressively subscribed to the idea that money isn't everything, having a job with flexibility while attending school is very relieving. I'll explain. They say you don't realize how good you have it until you've lost it. For the most part, I see no flaw in this ideology. Sure, I have something--I take it for granted, forget about it, and the minute I lose it: I want it back. But for every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction. For every 'lier,' there is an 'outlier.' I do not use my blog as a means to boast or brag (not in this case, at least). But as I've lost more and more money--or rather, used less and less money, I've become to realize its quite liberating in a sense. Sure, many things that might have been readily available to me in the past have become something of a pipe-dream in the present. But also, I feel like this is the time in my life that I'm supposed to be poor. This is the time where I'm supposed to suffer with those who suffer. This is the time where holding two jobs is considered an honor rather than a burden. So here I am world. Come and claim what's yours. Take away the things I have, laptop excluded, and let me focus on my education. Let me dream of helping the humanitarian effort. Let me drift left of center, if only for a while. Let me 'sock it to the man' and become a free bird. Let me listen to whatever liberating music I feel like. And seriously, let me be who I want to be, and be accepting of that.

You might think I was being sarcastic, and I honestly wasn't. It's simple: this may be the only time in our lives where we feel like the world is ours to shape. Soon, our lives will reveal that we are just cogs supporting the machine that is society. But for now, we believe that a difference can be made for the better, and we can be in the center of it. We all desire to be in the center of something. How many of us secretly want to be famous? I don't think the idea is so far-fetched. For years, we're subjected to the extraordinary through the media. Disney movies alone give us perfect outlines of the transformation from ordinary to extraordinary. And these are the things we dream about as children. Where are our beauty and the beastian expectations. Has the glass slipper dissapeared in our lives?

I'm not sure how to answer this. Sometimes, I see myself as a normal person doing normal things. But why? Recently, a 17 yr-old sailed around the world. He was the youngest to conquer the world. But what about all of the older people who have sailed the world. In their element, they lived their dream as well. I don't have all the answers. I don't have very many answers. I guess I'm just trying to point out that it's never too late to be extraordinary. The only thing thats keeping us from acheiving this are the boundaries that are set upon us by society.

"It's interesting to behold the power of the stars. It's far too difficult to measure their true potential. Even the dimmest, most distant star is comparable to our beaming sun--providing someone with warmth and perserving lives. Our whole planet relies on the sun. I oft wonder if people are like distant stars? Always comparing themselves to the stars around them-thinking they're so much brighter and life-giving. Meanwhile, they are just the same, not knowing their own abilities because of the focus they place on the abilities of others. I believe people need to know that they are stars too. They need to realize their true potential. They need to know that importance is only revealed depending on the angle that one views it from. From the most distant star, our Sun may appear dim. But from the angle of Earth, it's blinding with goodness."

And full-cirle to why I'm celebrating. I got a sweet job on campus. Sometimes I love being alive.

2009-08-17T23:18:00.002-06:00

This just in! Hiking is actually fun! This hasn't been revealed to me until recently. Why is walking up a hill fun? I know you guys want links, links, links! And who doesn't like links to other web sites? and who are you guys? I mean, I know becca reads this thing (as I throw you a shout out!) I think our generation is the link generation. We hear something, don't believe a cotton-pickin (uh oh!) word of it, and then we gotta find proof that it's correct. After that, we're still skeptical because we found the information on the internet--a medium we only trust when WE discover the story first. So ya know what? No bloody links. I'm sick of links. Sausage links, golf links, and all the other stinkin links out there.

So here's something innovative. I'm going to post a bit of a conversation I had with a longtime friend. We were discussing massage therapists, of all things.

annnnddd this is what my friend said:

but like at a spa you are also supposed to be naked when you get a massage
and it's fine because you have the little sheet
but then if you are naked they massage your bottom
your BOTTOM!
embarrassing
i mean a lot of people really do carry tension in their upper butt area
but then it is like... "they are looking at my butt right now"
"when is the last time i looked at my butt? is everything ok back there?"

and my reply:

i know, its not like you check yoruself out in the
mirror (THIS IS A COMPLETE LIE. I DO CHECK MYSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR, AND ADMIT IT, YOU MAY DO THIS TOO.)

And I thought, yeah, that is sorta weird about those people. I mean, doctors use the excuse that its 'for my health' to check me out. But really, does my 67 yr old female doctor ever think about my psycological health when shes arbitrarily checking me out? Ever since I've been little, I've been seeing the same doc. She's nice, and now i feel like I owe her my loyalty--you know, since she was there the whole time. I mean, she saw me in every stage, and theres just something that connects me to her. It's like, she was there for planting season, saw the garden grow, and I can't just ditch her when it's time to harvest. I guess you dance with the girl who brought you, or in this case-the old nanna who brought me.

So what'd ya think? What creeps you out? I mean, other than chinese buffets. Those really creep me out. I just don't think I can honestly take one seriously. First of all, they have like..fried chicken wings. Really, your'e not foolin anyone on this one. I can sorta believe that maybe, possibly, They might serve something similar to General Tsao's chicken in China. Maybe they have weird oysters in garlic sauce. But chicken wings? No way. There's just no way that in the middle of china, people are ordering a side of blue cheese and celery to go with their buffalo wings.

Has anyone seen District Nine? Dang good. I'd recommend it to all humans.

And here we go, I'm outta here. Random thoughts.

By the way: I've heard a few cries for Transformers script numero two. It's just that everytime I think of that movie, I wanna vomit. I'm going to sleep now

2009-08-15T16:59:00.002-06:00

And another fine piece of biased, Anti-Mormon propaganda provided by the liberal media. Click there to find out. You see, you already know my opinion on this without even asking. It's just the fact that I'm supposed to be sooo accepting of others' beliefs--yet, when I ask others to be accepting of my beliefs, they turn it into this sort of bafoonery. The propaganda has spread like a california wild-fire. An article compiled of testimonies of those who 'used to be in the church, but now have disassociated themselves from it because the church decided to play their lofty hand in an issue outside themselves." Essentially, these cowards have exclaimed, "The Church has really overextended their arm of counsel on this one. Stay out of important worldly issues, and stick to the issues that you're supposed to stick to--like uh...talking to god and stuff. All that mumbo jumbo."

But here's the thing. If the counsel of the LDS church extends only to that of the so-called spiritual unknown, than why be associated with the church in the first place? Why place any sort of trust in the statues and commandments the church proclaims? And that is where we separate on opinion. That is where these self proclaimed ex-mormons cease to have legitimacy in my eyes.

I can only imagine the chaos that would have erupted had the founding fathers of our nation been silenced by propaganda suggesting that their religious roots and ideals were not to be voiced in matters of public opinion. "let us burn the bible!" they would scream, and Jefferson would muster a "you're right, I shouldn't let that sort of thing get in the way of founding a nation." Non-sense.

If you want to tax churches, go right ahead and tax churches. But start taxing the boys and girls club too, and the make-a-wish foundation. Because as long as we're riding the roller coaster of public opinion, it looks as though we're headed for a long drop-off: where the only rights are the rights for anyone who can complain loud enough at the right times and the right places.

The thing that makes me upset about this article is the proclaimed innocence by those who kissed on Temple Square, a pavilion privatley owned by a church who defends traditional marriage. This baffles me. When I was young, my brother used to yell at me because I was touching him. So sometimes, I would place my hands about an inch from his face and chant, "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" Sooner than later, Josh would get pissed and smack me in the face. I went crying to mommy, proclaiming innocence because technically I wasn't touching him. She looked at me, and said, "you deserved it. Now go away." Thank you mom for teaching me that lesson. Gays can't expect to go on church-owned property and provoke an argument--only later claiming they were completley innocent with good intentions. Give me a break. Be gay, it doesn't bother me. But when you come crying back because someone kicked you off their property, don't expect me to have sympathy.

And I almost didn't publish this because I was scared of the public opinion, but bash away, because front page of USA today is news for everyone--not just those who are advocates of the propaganda.

2009-08-15T03:09:00.003-06:00

Did you know?

I've had four jobs since I've been home from my mission?

United States Postal Service
Best Buy
Wal-Mart
Ross Dress for Less

That's about a 50/50 clip for the year. Not bad when I test the free-agent market in a few days, eh?

2009-08-10T01:06:00.003-06:00

So I just found out that my major program has an acceptance rate at 58%. I'm not exactly thrilled with this, but if you've seen any of my recent posts on the great bits of investigative reporting that BYU students do, I should have no problem. But maybe that is the problem? After this semester, I will apply for the print journalism major. Sometimes I wonder if the fine folks who review the applicants LIKE those people who only report on things that no one cares about? Maybe everyone else cares about "is hunting bad?" or "is caffeine against the mormon church" and I, alone, stand as the lone beacon of reason? I daresay that if I don't make it into this program, I will be devastated. In fact, a transfer of universities would be imminent. For those of you who do not live in Utah Valley, I may be coming to a school near you as early as next fall? But let's hope I don't. Lately, Iv'e come to believe that BYU is the school for me. I love controversy, and at no other school can I wreak as much havok as this. Its a center for pure enjoyment. But those are just a few thoughts on mi lifeo.

That's spanish for 'my life'. Or something like it. Speaking of spanish, I'm in spanish territory as we speak. The great, bumbling state of Arizona. It's so cute, it wants to be California so bad! And why not? Look, the place has sun. Lots and lots of sun. I mean, if I woke up tomorrow morning and it was ANYTHING but sunny outside, I'd think the gods were trying to tell me something. How hard would it be to be a weatherman in Arizona? "Hey folks, I'm meteorologist Johnny Cushman with your weather! For the next 104 days, sunny. Yes, yes, it's sure been a wild one, but you'll be happy to know that the sun is here to stay. Keep cool everyone. We'll see ya in six months." (Yes, I realize 104 days is less than 6 months.)

But really, this place is fashionable. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've never claimed to be fashionable. In fact, my former roommate, who works at banana republic, recently said, "there's just no hope for you." And that's sorta depressing. But c'mon, I'm not THAT out of fashion. I thought Mariners shirts and bootcut jeans were somewhat acceptable? But I come down to A-Z (as I like to call it, much to the dismay of the locals), and I find out that these cats wear some of the trendiest clothes you can buy. and they look good doing it. I mean everything is accessorized. and I sorta feel out of place! (But you really can't knock the Northwest. Is there anything wrong with being comfortable in the clothes we wear? Or liking people despite their subpar outfits? I say no. I'll even go one step further: we in the Northwest contain a secret that the rest of the country doesn't know about. I don't wanna let the rabbit outta the hat on this one, but it involves being incredibly awesome. Look it up in the dictionary.) Sometimes traveling really brings a change of pace, and I love it. Like, this place just sorta makes me wanna go to the gym, get yoke, run over to buckle and vans, buy a V-neck shirt,and rock the socks off everyone around. It's good to feel different sometimes.

There are plenty more fun experiences I've had in AZ. Tomorrow I'm going to the DBacks game with a few friends. I've been to an outdoor Arizona wedding in August. That's something to write home about? I've visited Flagstaff, drove on route 66, and ate a burrito at Filliburto's--the famous cheap mexican resturant which dots the phoenix area. I've been experiencing. And yeah, its only phoenix, but its still an experience. This is what I live for. I'm not gonna remember that I bought a 500 dollar xbox 360 when I'm older, but I'll always be able to say that I checked out the Valley of the Sun and took in some of the culture. And now when I'm an old snowbird, I'll know where the closest QT or Bahama Bucks is.

Lets experience! So far, so good.

Disclaimer

2009-08-06T03:40:00.003-06:00

As this is a place reserved by me, the owner of the blog, for good conversation, I reserve the right to tell you that my writings are based upon (mostly) loose opinions and interpretations of the world I live in. Therefore, all those who choose to be offended by any of the writings contained within the blog and/or the comments section will find themselves lacking in the good discussion dept.

In all honestly, my comments are not meant to offend or to depict actual unresolved conflicts in my personal life. If situations arise that sound vaguely familiar to situations in your own life, It may be a coincidence. If that is not the case, than the situation has been resolved, and I no longer hold an offense against said person/s.

In short:If i ever have a real problem with someone, the dirty laundry will not be aired over an insecure website such as blogspot.com (registered trademark). If you find that a situation relates to you, I have either brought this problem up with you prior to publication, or have treated the incident as something of a humorous event- meant to be shared w/ faithful (thank you) readers.

Blah blah blah blah blah. If you know me, you know that I can offend easily. But also if you know me, I don't hold personal vendetta's. I just like inspired conversations. I just thought I'd add this friendly reminder that everyone is free to voice their opinion, even if they disagree with mine. No one should get seriously offended unless it makes the convesation REALLY fun, than its ok. Also, for the record: get a life.

Captain's log, Stardate:2009

Yes, I just did that.

An Apple a Day

2009-08-05T01:07:00.002-06:00

Okay, another lifeless lesson coming up. It's based upon a recent experience where I was shushed by a family for saying "I don't like my ipod." Ya know, today's post was supposed to be fun. I was going to post pictures of me with my new Big Sunglasses which I bought to make myself mysteriously hotter while driving around Provo. So far, so good. Lots of females lookin' my way, and lots of decepticon going on on my part. I was even going to let you in on some wonderful experiences I've had lately. But no, being shushed ruined it. There's just something about being shushed, isn't there? When someone takes that index finger and reaches to their mouth, you almost anticipate the sound, that, 'SHHHHHHH!!!!!!' That's the moment you just wanna go Gran Torino on em and just make a gun sign with your hand, and shoot the hell outta em. I think both gestures hold the same obnoxious qualities. I'd rather watch a full WNBA game than be shushed.

But something was different about this shush. Yeah, it could have been avoided by a "shut up" eye-movement. Which I am capable of catching, and it doesn't require embarassment. But also, the shush itself didn't bug me. The reason I had to shush was because the family involved LOVES all Apple products. I can't talk bad about any ipod, macbook pro, etc. Really? Than I realized that the fact that this family alone loves MACS didn't even upset me that much. It was the fact that everyone who loves MAC will not put up with any slander towards it. They think Apple is the best thing that has ever happened to the world. They think that THEY alone are the urban-trendsetters of the world to dictate how technology is used. They swear Itunes is the simplest way to organize music. They laugh at Zunes, and cringe at the thought of having to use internet explorer 5 instead of their beloved Safari.

Well I'm sorry, I don't really feel like using a web browser that reminds me of the poor continent of Africa. I don't care how many video's you can hold on your ipod touch, because I, like 90% of the rest of the world, choose to watch our video's on a thing called the television. I'm sorry I'm not on an airplane all the time, so I can't understand the conveinance of being able to watch Twilight over and over on my 1 million gig overpriced MP3 player. I don't have the phone that can do anything except offer afforable prices. And no, I'm not using MAC'S state of the art editing programs because I do not make video's. Call me a loser, but I do not care about your MAC.

The only thing I can think of that compares to the pompousness of MAC users is those people who have ever touched foot in Texas. I mean, I think the worst possible person I'd ever want to meet is an 'Apple guy from Dallas.' "Everything's bigger in Texas. Apple Rules. Nothing can beat either of those things. And you know what? Even when I'm outside of Texas, I'm gonna tell everyone I'm from Texas, and how awesome it is. And I'm sick of those stupid commercials of that kid going into Best Buy with only a thousand dollars and buying a PC. Why? Because the apple is so much bettter that its WORTH the extra thousand dollars." Give me a break. If apple is so much better, why do they keep coming out with software that makes apple look and feel exactly like a PC with windows? Why does apple have a version of windows you can buy? The answer is simple, Apple just wants to be microsoft.

"apple is simple to use." "apple is user-friendly" "the rollerball on my ipod is so perfectly sensitive, its like the ipod knows exactly which song I want next." "I wouldn't trade my Iphone for anything..except maybe another Iphone with new updates." blahhhhhhhhhhhh blahhhhhhhhhhh. Listen, you know why you think apple is cool? Because marketing has led you to believe that Microsoft is the bad guy, and that owning an apple will make you more enviornmentally friendly, more likable, and generally a better person. But you know what it really makes you? Someone who brings their Ilaptop or whatever theyre callin it these days wherever they go in life, and equivelant to a Texan. Now, if you loooove Macs, or are from Texas. No offense. Im just saying you still have time... For now, please, for the love of all that's good and holy.....SHHHHHHH!

Gone

2009-07-25T18:06:00.002-06:00

I've been lost in translation lately. Between the "amazing adventures of Alexander and Taylor" in Vegas, and the downfall of the working machine I once was, I've found time to reflect on what I could be doing with my time. See, that's the sad truth. I wait so long to be un-busy, to have more time for friends and for myself, and when I finally get that time--I think about what I could be doing to be more busy, to be more productive, etc. Where am I going in life right now? What are my goals? When my only goal is to finish the latest novel I've picked up, I'm left wanting. When I get excited that "If U C Jordan" is playing on my itunes, I wonder if there would be anything more fulfilling out there?

And maybe that's my problem: I don't find beauty in the simple things. I've never been like this before...this me wanting something bigger, better. I wonder if this is some sort of red flag that says, Calm down. Enjoy the simple things in life. But at the same time, It seems like one cannot be content with what he has. Because the minute im content with everything I have, than the sooner the world passes me by. Does anyone else feel this way? Atlas Shrugged would back me up on this. For some reason, that book spoke to me. Not in the life-changing sort of way. But in the 'wow, this is an ideal that you have already believed in. If only i could strive harder to acheive it.' If any of you get the chance to read it, do.

Sometimes I just don't feel like writing entertainment. Is this going to be a problem? Writing entertainment can be so tiring. But this writing feelings can be so boring to the reader. I mean, why not just type this stuff up and erase it once I'm done if its simply for me anyway? Why not destroy the evidence of the hard times? And why is Christiano's the ultimate good-mood resturant. Why does it reflect such great feelings? I don't get it. Everytime I go there, I leave thinking--''now THAT'S an environment i can get behind!" The soda is good, the shrimp is fresh, the pizza crust is full. And see, I've found something simple to be a part of. What other simple things do you like? I don't normally ask for feedback from you, but this time, i want it. What are the simple things you enjoy? I need em...I've become a slave to the IKEA nesting instinct.

2009-06-25T19:46:00.002-06:00

I have so much to talk about! It's been a busy, thought provoking, humorous last few days. I think my last post brought the fire, which was nice. But also, I think it was my least inspired post. I mean obviously I have an opinion on the matter, and obviously it was my choice to post that. But less obviously, its a topic that doesn't inspire me. Not to back down in any way, because I do have an opinion on just about everything, and I'm not shy about voicing them. Ahhh, and on to a much lighter topic.

I've never done a movie review with a re-written script, but I'll attempt to do one now. I just saw Transformers 2 at the IMAX. See the film, and maybe you'll appreciate this more.

SCENE 1: Sam's house

Mom: Am I supposed to be the most entertaining person in this film? Oh, what the hell, I'll do it. Saaaaaaaaam's going to college. If we're gonna pay 40 grand a year, we'd better take him ourselves. Why not trade in that damn camaro of our's to pay for it?

Sam: Ohhh mom, don't be rediculous. You know i'll be able to live a normal college life even after living with alien robots for a few years. It won't be a problem, really.

Mom: Well as long as they have weed brownies there...

Dad:....what?

Mom: haaaahaaaaa.

Sam: Okay guys, seriously. This isn't a rap video. In fact, we don't even meet the token black robots for a while. So calm down. Oh, (acting like he's not excited) Megan is calling me!

Fox(on the phone): I'm effing hot. I'm breaking up with you.

Sam: Hold on right there Megan. Thats messed up. I know youre more manly than me, and you work on motorcycles, and you've never been in another movie but you're famous anyway. But girl, you got it going on. What if I install creepy webcams so we can keep in touch?

Fox: (how'd he know I cant say no to webcams?) fiiiiiiiine. But i hope you bought me a decent nvidia video card off woot too, because if your face is too pixilated, it might be outlandishly creepy, instead of being romantically creepy. I'll be over in twenty.

Sam(now off the phone): hey, what could this little metal shard be? I hate Megan working at that motorcycle place..she always leaves welding crap in my coat pockets. Wait a tic. This isn't a welding tool. It's an alien metal shard. hot potato.

....the shard burns through the floor, activates decepticons who are hiding in common kitchen appliances, they start shooting at sam and family. They call bumblebee--the pet camaro.

Bumblebee: ...... ....... ....... (decepticons eliminated)....... ...... .....(random music because I can't talk).... ....... ......

Sam: Bumblebee!! Bad boy. Get the hell back in the garage! What? I can't even hear you man? You should fix your stupid voice thing, what with all your advanced technology....what? GET IN THE GARAGE! (bumblebee lowers head and cowers back into the garage) Damn, and I thought Wall-E was annoying. At least he could speak occasionally.

Megan: I'm here! Do you love me yet?

Sam: despite the fact that any guy in his right mind would say anything to keep you anywhere near connected to me, I think if I actually try to make you happy, you'll never speak to me again.

Megan: Yeah, I get what youre saying. But hey, do you love me? Wait..is that the line? guys...guys... what's my line? Oh, stand here and look hot? ok. How bout we kiss or something Shia. Can I call you Shia instead of Sam? Sam just reminds me of that spike lee film. Anyway, Kiss? Would that look hot?

Sam: You can call me whatever you want. yeah, lets kiss. Oh crap, did they teach me how to do this on Even Stevens? This could be awkward. At least we both smoke..

(they kiss, but not very convincingly.)

Sam: Anyway, I gotta go to college. Web-cam tonight?

Dad: Web Cam? Have you been checking my internet history again, Sam?

Sam: Dad! no, I was talking about Megan and I!

Dad: Oh, well....can I stream in on that?

Megan: I AM hot.

Dad and Sam: We know.

Sam: Okay lets go. (they grab luggage and start to leave) Bumblebee! I said get the hell in that garage!!! I don't care how many times you've saved my life! I know i know, you would make me look like the coolest guy in college with a ride like that. Yes, I still love you. I don't care about all that! I just wanna be normal!!!!!!!pLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasee!!!!

Megan: guys, I just realized....any guy would date me.

Thats scene one. Scene two coming soon.

The Daaaaaily Universe....

2009-06-18T02:41:00.003-06:00

Earlier this year, I brought you into my world at BYU by showing you a clever video created for THE DAILY UNIVERSE!!! which is the BYU student-run news source. If you didn't read it, than by all means, boost your confidence. Now that you've read and recalled that piece, I bring you part II.
I want to clear up a few feelings of mine before I go on: I have become strangely attatched to BYU lately. I mean, its weird to me. There are just so many things NOT to like about the place (As you'll soon see). But through all the dislikes and strange happenings on campus, including seeing babies pushed along in strollers and couples being disturbed because "making out is immodest in public," BYU has treated me very well. I always have good discussions in class, and the Entertainment value is through the roof. When I hear mention of BYU lately, I do a silent "yayyyyy" in my mind. That's how bad it's gotten.

Also, and I don't think this should have a full paragraph to itself, but someday in the near future, I actually intend on writing for this newspaper: THE DAILY UNIVERSE!!!!! I think this is the classic case of someone criticising something they so desperatley wanna be a part of. If that's the case, than so be it!

Watch this entire video before reading on, and check back often to see what I'm talking about..

Nigel Reuel-- New Mexico, Graduated
No offense, but if you've graduated, doesn't that mean you shouldn't be at school anymore? Maybe they picked this guy BECAUSE he was graduated, meaning he'd have a more educated view on the topic. Speaking of topics....Hunting? Really? How big of deal is this? I can only imagine the guy that got assigned this peice..

"I wanna be an investigative reporter. My first pressing topic: is hunting bad? yes, yes. There's been quite the scandal in the hunting sector these days. No one can trust anyone anymore. Is he really using that meat for food? THAT'S exactly the kind of answers I'm after.."

Before I say anything more, the first thing I noticed about Nigel is that he's from New Mexico, but he isn't an indian. If that doesn't throw you off. I mean, What if someone introduced you to someone from Kenya and they weren't black? Sorta hard to believe Nigel. We'll let it pass this time, but seriously...next time just say you're from Arizona. Now all I can think of is wild Thornberrys.

"I didn't grow up in a hunting family. There's not a lot of game where I live." How did the Indians survive?

"if youre responsible and you use the meat...Responsibly" I loved how he said this line. It reminds me of this. Drink Responsibly. Hunt Responsibly.

David Shaha--Lansing, Kansas
Really? Hunting isnt for me, but I can see how it could be good? We're not talking about Gay marriage here david. We're talking about HUNTING!
Maybe its the novice hunter in me, but the one time I shot a bird, the last thing I was thinking was, "I have respect for this life I'm taking." I'd have more respect for the bird if it had dodged my bullet, now THAT'D be respect-worthy.

Liz Gubler--Orem.....Which state is that? Ohhhh, Utah. Of course, we're all supposed to know that, right?

I can see this girls thoughts, "Why are you bothering me? I was sitting here on the grass minding my own business, and you wanna know about hunting? Don't ask me any questions unless they involve getting married or having babies."

And her response: "Its cool if you eat the meat.....I...think? Is that what you wanted me to say?"

Brent Thompson--Yakima, Wa

Uh oh, I'm always weary when its someone representing my home state. Then again, its EASTERN washington, which should be Idaho. Whenever I see someone at school with a WA liscense plate, I get all excited. I get so pumped that I go up to talk to them! I always say where are you from? They usually say something like Kennewick, or Spokane. Then I turn around and walk away. Eastern washington is like a girl you kissed that all your friends bring up over and over again. No matter how much you'd like to be unassociated, your friends always remind you. We dont claim Spokane, but it's bound to us. Ugh.
The only thing I can say about this guy is that he represented his side of washington well by not saying a whole lot. It's always better if they don't speak too much. Good boy Brent, Good boy.

Diana Olsen--Holly, MI.....Special Education.
I couldn't tell if Diana was majoring in Special Education or is actually IN special Education? but rockin' Headband, right? Diana thinks "hunting is okay, but a little perverted." That's the same thing I think about my next-door neighbor. And Lady Gaga. And turtleneck sweaters in the summer...

Carlos Wetten--El Paso, Tx
Oh boy. I saw this name and almost shat myself. "Carlos from El Paso, Texas" At first I was trying not to assume this guy was an illegal alien. But El Paso is just so close to the border, and his last name is WETTON, as in, 'WET-ONE'. I'm not going to say anything since he speaks such good english, but something's fishy?

Courtney McDonough--Santa Monica, CA

bah ba bah ba bahh, I'm lovin' it. Is this like the millionth person in a row that they've interviewed who doesn't hunt? I mean, how can you get perspectives on things if you don't ask anyone who has an opinion on it? "For this peice, we want a lot of ambiguous answers, and by all means...DO NOT interview anyone who hunts. Got that? Ok, good."

I like this girl, she's sorta spunky. I mean, like, oh my gosh. Like, I don't really like looking at deer heads on a wall. But i mean, like, like....like............like

In conclusion, I just wasted too much time. I'm gonna go hunting.

I wish I could be Mark Twain

2009-06-06T02:49:00.002-06:00

Lately I've had this fascination with Mark Twain. I've always thought him a good writer, with interesting stories; recently, I've come to realize that I have the same thoughts as him. If only I could direct them on paper as he did. But that doesn't matter so much. Personally, I think each of us has one person--be it a writer, actor, family member, lover, etc--who makes you think to yourself: I have thought that over and over, and have not been able to express it to anyone who appreciates the value of it.

Isn't this the sole purpose of updating our facebook status', or tweeting on twitter? I mean, we just want someone who can relate to us, and who can comment on our feelings and say, "I know exactly what you mean, and I wan't you to know that it's okay to think this way. You're not weird for saying that." Other times, you see people update their status' with completley out-there ideas, and people comment saying they 'disagree with it all.' Isn't this another push for validation? Anything to acknowlegde that you exist. Any publicity is good publicity. If I were a better person, I'd stop doing this myself. If I were a better person, I'd acknowledge the existence of everyone constantly; validating their thoughts and actions. "If I were a better person..." How many times can we say that of ourselves before that line itself becomes something we want recognized or validated? We want people to say "you ARE a better person." But this is only natural. I suppose there's not a great person out there who doesnt secretly, in the comfort of their mind, harbor feelings of failure of their life lived. It is a certainty of life.

But what a joy sometimes. Often I leave a discussion thinking, "that person is JUST like me! what a joy to be around them." I get happier because I met them, and can't wait till our next encounter where the conversation will likely be based upon the same subjects breached last time we met. But the weird thing to me is this: I come out even happier and more fulfilled when I meet someone that disagree's with almost everything I say. Someone who challenges me, and argues points which do not matter. This is just an example of the bitter-sweetness of life. For instance, I find it funny that so many of us love scary movies. Why would we ever want to watch someone be placed in the worst possible scenario and try to claw and fight and scream their way through it? We also love happy movies. Movies we can grip and say, "someday, that'll be me." Do we really LIKE these movies, or do we just like EMOTION. any emotion. At this point, we will take any emotion as valid, and cherish those moments. I think we just want to feel. Humans want to feel SOMEthing; we don't care what we feel.

Ya know, I feel a lot. A knew a crazy man about my age a few years back. When you said 'hi' to this guy, he would respond with a brief, 'salutations.' When asked where he is from, the response was always, "Sodom and Gomorrah USA." Later, I found out that he lived in San Francisco. He wore a cranberry colored night gown/robe concoction to sleep, and claimed he could defeat an angry pit-bull by simply breaking its neck. Believe it or not, this was one of the most logical minded people I've ever encountered. When asked a question of science, math, or trivia, the man could answer it quickly and directly. He always provided an answer. He spoke like C-3PO and im sure he could speak 39 different argon languages as well. But whenever I asked him a question that required a response which needed a feeling of some sorts, he could not answer it. He didn't know his favorite anything, because that required him to choose something that wasn't fact, but opinon. He couldn't tell ya how he felt at his high school prom, or his college graduation, or his family lakeboat reunion. It just wasn't something that he could compute, and therefore my questions regularly went unanswered. One day he told me:

Alexander, in the study of psychology, I recall two separate methods of
thinking. First, Logo's, the logical portion of the brain. This portion attempts to solve problems and situations in a clear, logical way. Second, Pathos, or emotional portion of the brain. The pathos attempts to respond to matters purely by emotional reactions. Quite often, those who think with their pathos fail to improve the situation, but rather dilute it by claiming they have experienced a gut-reaction. I believe I will always act with Logo's in any situation. Solutions will occur. You, Alexander, will
always act with your pathos, and your problems will continue to magnify.
Thank you for pointing that out for me. I now believe you do live in Sodom and Gomorrah and you are pure evil. But its interesting the way we live our lives. Do we turn some situations into the logo's portion, and others into the pathos portion? Can we departmentalize depending on the context? I'm not really sure, and all i want is for someone to say, "I know what you mean. I've been thinking about this too. You aren't weird."

Ahh yes, another lifeless lesson. Why you continue to read this blog I will never understand.

WalMart

2009-05-20T00:07:00.003-06:00

If you must know, I acquired a job at Wal-Mart that has me busting my butt all night stocking the shelves that get emptied during the day by Caravan Driving, Speed Addict Soccer Mom's who believe their children will die without an extra box of discounted Orange Crush Capri Sun Juice Bags. Yes, that was a long sentence. And Yes, I hate working at Wally World. And Yes, I am looking for a new job to supplement my addiction to talking to normal, self dignified human beings instead of the breed of wild animals which inhabit Walmart. As you can tell: I am not very pleased with the whole situation.

Here is what orientation at WalMart is like, if you were wondering: First, we have safety tour around the store. Let me just say that if you think Walmart looks tacky out on the sales floor, it is about a thousand times more clutterly in the back. There are people in the break room who hang their coats on the hanger, and then expect a person like me to hang mine with theirs. I'm not a advocate of segregation of any kind, but they really need to find a way that my coat will not have to get lice from the unkempt, unbathed heathen sitting next to me. The back rooms are horrific. It's like a scene from Schindlers List, only this time its in color. And then the safety team leader explains that if the store goes 90 straight days without an "accident" of any kind involving employees and customers, than the store will buy all of us baked potatoes for lunch. Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted, a baked potato. what does a potato cost these days? 30 cents? I'm no Golden Corral, but I'm pretty sure bulk baked potatoes are like the most inexpensive item to purchase; even cheaper than the mac n' velveeta cheese. So thanks WalMart for that. But even before I could worry if I was going to add chives on my potato for extra spice, or just go with the classic sour cream taste, I was informed that in all 11 Years that the safety lady had been a WalMart employee, she'd only gotten the baked potato dinner once. Yeah, Uno. Less than ten percert of her years, she'd received a shimmering baked potato. Congrats, and thanks for telling us about the 90-day BP policy. She might as well have told us the next time we were gonna see Haley's Comet.

But moving on. We watched a video about how WalMart believes its employees can speak for themselves, and do not need a third party-or union- to represent them. Thanks guys. That's like saying when you get accused of stealing panties from the 15$ bin at Victoria's Secret, and the court calls you in to defend yourself--and they tell you its probably better just to represent yourself instead of calling a lawyer. Let me tell ya, You're not leaving that courtroom without a hefty fine and about 50 hrs of community service, all of which cannot be served at the Boys and Girls club. Should of had a lawyer...you know...if you were ever in that situation. But seriously, good job WalMart for not letting your employees join a union. I mean sure, a employee who rides the bus every day and works off minimum wage greeting folks as they walk in will have a LOT more power than an organized union, right? right. Taxation without representation. We all know that's wrong.

After the movie, many more embarassing and degrading things happened in the back room. First of, they told us we could miss 7 days of work without calling before we'd get fired. Secondly, I found out something I'd been suspicious of for many years: WalMart employees don't actually do anything. I mean really, the vest is a snazzy get up. But no one is fooling me. They told us new recruits to walk around the store a little bit--badge and all. The whole shebang. Did it surprise me that WalMart is reputedly soooo bad at customer service that not one customer asked me a single question? I even made eye contact with people. Still, not one customer stopped me to ask for something they were looking for. It's because we have all grown accustomed to walking into walmart and expecting zero customer service. I saw "Angels and Deamons" this weekend, and they were talking about a destructive weapon called "anti-matter." apparently, its the oppisite of Matter and is highly reactive. I believe that WalMart has Anti-Service. Not only do customers expect no service at all, they expect wrong answers from employees. They know they are better off not risking it by asking.

Finally, WalMart is remodeling their whole store. When they are done in a few months, They decided they want an employee to sing the national anthem for the grand re-opening. So in honor of this, they asked the new recruits--us--to be the judges of the finalists theyve already chosen. So they march these people in our room, and they start to sing. One girl is obviously one nugget shy of a happy meal, and is singing HORRIBLY! I'm not sure if there is even a word to describe how bad she was at singing. If this were Rockband, our band would have failed in the first fifteen seconds. I mean, this girl was so bad that it wasnt even humorous. This is the type of girl that I'd be pulling her name off the company "giving tree" during christmas time, buying her a set of sheets and a comforter, and leave feeling good about my charity to the world. I mean she was a real mouth-breather. She was bad. thats all there was to it.

The next girl was a good singer. The only problem: she was asain, and didnt know the words to the star spangled banner. And the words she did know, she pronounced wrong. i know the Phillipines take my sprint phone service calls, but asking them to sing the AMERICAN national anthem is a little much. I mean soon we'll have a black pres...i.....oh, yeah. nvmd.

WalMart sucks. Do not shop there, not because i want them to lose business, but because i do not want to face the embarassment of seeing anyone i know. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy in this world. DO NOT VISIT ME. and help me find a new job

Story-Telling

2009-05-12T23:33:00.003-06:00

I'm pretty sure that I have something magnificent and insightful to write at the beginning of the day--right after waking up--and by the time I reach the end of the day, something has happened. I'm not sure if this is the overload of my mind, or if the day has beat the insight out of me. But I lose what I've been planning on creating all day. A friend made a comment about my blog today; said it was "silly." I'm not sure how to take that, and I'm not going to take offense of course, but it's weird to me how my blog has actually been liberating for me. Maybe I take it too seriously? If Silly is what we have to be to be ourselves, than silly-I-shall-be.

And here is a bit of insight: Look both ways when driving through an intersection, it may save your life someday. I've committed it into habit to do this, and never have I been in danger of getting hit, but I suppose it's the one time I don't do this that I'll get hit, and die. So, If dying isn't the first thing on your to-do list, than look both ways. If dying IS the first thing on your to-do list, go up the river, not across.

My mother grew up in a home where money came scarcely, and rarely trickled down to even the oldest of 8 children. It has been said, mostly around fire's at family reunions, that worn shoes were filled with cardboard to increase longevity. Canned fruit happened to be the dessert of choice, with canned vegetables coming in at a close second. Hard work was prevalent in my mother's home; opportunities for chores coming and going unrewarded and unrecognized, but required. By the sounds of it, you'd think my Mom is as old as your grandparents, but she's not. Without revealing a definite age of my mother, My mother spent her teenage years watching Star Wars in the theatre and chasing studs (Black one's perhaps?) Since I'm sure my mom reads my blogs and tracks my history on the internet, she would not want this particular cyber audience knowing how old she is. But really, it wasn't too long ago.

Anyway, as the story goes: My grandfather owned his own company as my mother was growing up. He claims it was a real estate business, but the grand childen think he was a drug dealer. One day, My grandfather offered his kids-my mother included- and all expense paid trip to a burger joint...IF the kids would clean his office on each saturday for a month. To many of us, this would not be a deal at all. But to my Mom and her siblings, it was the holy grail of offers. The Duce children NEVER ate out. NEVER. It just didn't happen. So of course when Dad came home one night and proposed this special gift, the kids believed Christmas had come early.

The kids went to the office each saturday and left the office spotless. Files were filed. Carpets were shampoo'ed. cobwebs were eliminated. Everything. Snow White would be jealous of the 7 dwarves Grandpa had hired these Saturdays. Finally, the day came when Grandpa would have to keep his end of the bargain. The kids piled in the station wagon, the 2 youngest huddled in the back seat (The seat that faced backwards). And off they went to a random burger joint. There were no arguments over which burger joint was their favorite, because no one had had enough of fast foods to make a decent judgement. The fact was: any burger joint was their favorite.

When they arrived, the kids piled out of the car and through the doors. Everyone was required to get the same thing: a cheeseburger, small fries, and a glass of water. No substitutions. And so it was: 9 cheeseburgers, 9 small fries, and 9 waters. With grandpa about the pay, the kids grew excited. But right before the dusty cash exchanged hands, Grandpa asked the attendant for tartar sauce. oh, the dreaded tartar sauce. The attendant smiled and let on, " Tartar sauce is ten cents." Grandpa was furious. After all, he had just paid for all 9 of the meals! He was in no circumstances going to pay for tartar sauce. Outraged, he demanded the managers attention. The Manager confirmed that the attendant was correct, and this made Grandpa even more upset.

"Fine," he yelled, "I'm not eating here, and will never come to this place again."

With this, my mother's hopes were dashed. All the children reluctantly packed in the station wagon, and grandpa said, "Mom makes some good tuna sandwiches at home." And home they went.

I guess I tell you this story because I think its funny. I think it reflects a different culture than we have now. And also, it shows that oral stories are much better than written stories and they shouldn't die. It's good to hear a good story every once in a while, no matter how embellished it may be. My grandparents never deny the story, even though it changes with every telling.

A lifeless lesson

2009-04-16T11:44:00.002-06:00

It is the end of the school year. I have two finals left, and I haven't started studying for them yet. It's difficult to get into studying mode again when all you want to do is take a break. Let me give you my last six months in review real quick.

I got of my mission for the church in September. Truthfully, there are things that I liked about myself a lot back then. I liked that I would stir conversation with anyone and anywhere. I liked that I was more aware of just about everything, and I liked that the world seemed brand new and ready to conquer.

I started working immediately at Best Buy--my favorite job in my lifetime. I suppose it was only my favorite job because I only worked there about a month. But just by the way it started out, I'm sure had i worked longer, it would have been in my top three anyway.

I decided to move to Utah and persue a job at the United States Postal Service. Easily, one of my least favorite jobs, but it payed 11.50 an hour. Can't say I didn't like that. I met some new people and I worked with my good friend Josh (Who is now engaged and will marry on June 6th, two days after Marie and Chaz tie the knot.)

I didn't return home for the Christmas season, something that I think I regret. I had to work, and at that time I needed the money for books and school and the works.

School. BYU has been a sweet learning experience. The professors here are smart and helpful. They know what they're talking about. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to continue my education here at BYU, but it's a good chance that I will. Right now the other option is Arizona State. The thing about Utah that I dislike above all is the fact that the weather is so miserable. It snowed today, the 17th of april. And It snowed A LOT. Like six inches. Too much for my liking.

And now i will go back home next week, and try to see if that will be any good. I have high hopes, but I will probably have to come back to school for the summer quarter starting in late june. We'll see.

My Wonderful Day

2009-04-08T23:45:00.004-06:00

Let it be known that the following is an actual account of my dealings and "wheelings" with my fellow women. Also, it should be stated and noted by the reader that this is a representative of my everyday life as a whole. I hope you can relate with me in this, because I know many who act and think in the same way I do. In fact, I'd be hard-pressed to find a person who does not share these same sentiments.

Ever since my days of pre-pubescent wonderment (which actually wasn't terribly long ago. It came somewhere around 9th grade. I recall days during P.E. in middle school where I'd wear shorts and people would ask me if I shaved my legs. To avoid embarassment, I just said "yes." Now i wonder if I avoided any embarassment at all with that response) I've become fascinated with the art of picking up chicks--an art engrained into the male society.

Like all art forms, there are those who work and work and work but see only marginal results. There are those who find success with little effort whatsoever. And of course, there are those who have the pure talent, the one's that all the others envy; the one's who never practice, and hardly put forth any effort whatsoever but finds it almost impossible to fail. That, my friends, is me. I am the proverbial stud with women. In fact, I converse with only those on par with my talent levels. And here are our tricks:

First, make negative comments about women. This tactic never fails. When persuing a woman, the first thing you want to do is make her lose all sense of self value that she had worked up since the last time she met with a man. The easiest way to do this is immediatley start thinking of all the negative things you can about a woman, and slowly express them verbally. You do not want to overwhelm her with those things that are blantantly rude and mean-spirited; instead, make a comment that sounds nice, but is not. Women like this. Take tonight for example: I took this girl out--forgot her name--and when I honked for her to come out, she took a while coming. So, when she entered the vehicle from the curbside, I, with a smile on my face, cleverly said, "It's a good thing I didn't have anything important planned for tonight. Otherwise we'd be late." She took it as a funny commentary on her tardiness. But what was really funny is that I did not have anything planned for that night. The second negative comment that I charmed whats-her-face with was, "Wow. I really like your smile. It sorta reminds me of Mickey Mouse." Ah-ha. The perfect negative comment. While this sounds like a compliment, the only thing the woman can focus on is her smile looking like a mouse's. This pleases the woman. It dropped her self esteem sufficiently for her to start liking me.

Secondly, never listen to a woman. On a side note: You are allowed to hear a woman, but never to listen. You see, when a man with my talent employs this stunning move, I always see favorable results. The trick is, women do not like to be listened to. They prefer to be standing along-side those men who look good in pictures; those who smooth talk waitresses in order to give their woman a pride in ownership, and those who are fashionably late to everything. All these are favorable among women. One of them told me this. But going along with the first secret, it is always important to disregard women's comments as irrelavant. The less you listen to them, the more they like you. You see, women want a battle. They want to prove to you that they can say something intelligent, or note-worthy. But as soon as you actually consider their feelings or thoughts, that is when they no longer see a challenge, and stop liking you.

This last trick is important. Listen up men, it will work every time. You must not even know a woman (which remember, they like it when we do not know them) for this to work in your favor. The rule is this: bring your woman to a place of familirarity. For instance, when taking a woman on a date (preferably inexpensive and not thought-out) always plan by the rule of three's. This means take them three distinct and separate places. I've found that your apartment, a bowling alley, and your apartment again work best. You may adjust the middle location depending on how self degrading your woman is. If you're talented enough only to take your date to your drug-addict buddies' house, than more power to you. I, for one, have not advanced that far quite yet. Anyway, first take your random girl back to your place. It doesn't matter if there are doritos bags, soda cans, and skateboards lying on the floor. This might actually make it more romantic. And women like men who aren't embarassed of their lack of cleanliness, as it gives them a false sense of trust--we want this! So you take a half an hour at your place to tell your woman all about yourself. I've been told on good authority that women love hearing about men.

From your apartment, you move on to the bowling alley. This is a perfect first date. Women like that men can look at their butts when they bowl, especially on the first date. It gives them a chance to impress the man. But we men know that this does not impress us. Bowling drones on for however long as you text your friends about your woman's attractiveness while she blabbers on about her non-existent life. This is all part of your plan, and women like to know that you have friends outside of her--so keep on texting.

This is where the date gets interesting. Take her back to your apartment. She has already been in the apartment, is comfortable with the surroundings, and is expecting a man to take action because all women like it when men take action. Because she has been to your apartment, she feels at home while you go ahead and make your move. During this portion of the meeting, it is especially important that you do not let the woman talk. She will like it when you shush her over and over again.

Lastly, when you are finished with the night. Never call her. Do not even add her to your phone book. This will ensure that when she calls, and you do not recognize the number--you will never answer the call. This particular number will show up on your missed calls list many times, however the minute you give in, the woman will stop being interested in you. Occasionally, you may facebook message her and set up another date, but make sure that this action is spontaneous and unplanned, otherwise the woman will think that you have looked too much into this relationship. One of the most common "enders" of relationships is when a woman believes that you actually want to get to know her, so make sure to never take interest in her, or her friends' affairs.

To all the men out there. Follow this very closely. Otherwise you will never get women. Remember, women are not attracted to anyone who likes conversation, or anyone who "respects" them. This notion is bogus, and might've worked in a former century. Do not fall into this trap. With this knowlegde guys, perhaps you too can be those artists with natural talent, instead of someone working and working and working to get girls to like them.

"Be good, and you will be lonesome." -Mark Twain

Sincerly, Alex

Sitcoms

2009-04-03T23:22:00.002-06:00

I'm serious here guys. Dead serious. Man, I bet if they made a sitcom of my life, EVERYone would watch it. I mean, all it would take would be for someone with a camera to follow me around ALL day. So many people would laugh. It'd be like the number one sitcom on the nielsen ratings! I mean really, they could put my life on HBO, and people would pay extra just to get the premium channels to watch my show. It would be the headliner on the Home Box Office. And seriously, it'd have a better ending than the soprano's. But really, if you saw how I acted with my family, you would laugh so hard. sooooo hard. so hard. really, you would.

Thank you everyone for believing that THEIR lives should be on a sitcom. Honestly, do you know how often I've heard this lately. I'm not saying these people aren't funny, and I'm definatley not saying their families aren't funny--because I've met some of the people--but c'mon. Not everyone's family can be in their own sitcom. And the thing that makes sitcoms funny anyways are the fact that we relate to them because our own families are pretty crazy.

But here is the question: Why does everyone have this same idea, always? Is this a chain email that has been passed around asking everyone to respond verbally? Is there a facebook group asking for one million strong to profess their argument for a personal sitcom? And why does no one say, "they would make a good generic crime scene/courthouse show out of me?" Oh yeah, because that would be STUPID! just like it's stupid when someone says they want a sitcom made after them/or their family. Now, I'm not saying that the person who says this is stupid, because we all say stupid things, and that doesn't necessarily mean we are stupid. But I'm sorry, you are not chandler. You are not ugly betty. And you aren't going to be in Everybody Loves Raymond--even though that show isn't funny. So maybe you are in that show?

Here comes my point. Although I probably hang out with you because you're funny, and you make me laugh, I don't think your family should have a sitcom. And honestly, I'd rather your family actually be in sitcom than me having to hear you talk about the outside possibility of it happening. You probably want to follow your dreams, and that's fine, but can't you choose a different dream? Like hooking up with that guy you have a crush on at school? Or stealing corn from Indians? Because honestly, some of the lower tier dreams might be a little more realistic. Even Freud would tell you that your family in a sitcom is crazy. It's okay to think that, just don't verbalize these thoughts.

Thank you, and goodnight. Another lifeless lesson.

2009-03-27T01:43:00.002-06:00

Here is just a few tidbits I thought of over the past week:

What would happen if President Obama went hunting with Dick Cheney?

My roommate had his cell phone break, and they told him it was because of a power surge in the socket, and he should have used a surge protector, aka power strip. Why the HELL don't they just make surge sockets? I mean c'mon, would it be THAT hard? why can't they just make surge's obsolete instead of being like hey, go get a surge protector 'in case anything you want to plug in is important'. Well yes, in fact..most of the things i plug in are important. go figure. I cant think of one thing that i plug in that isnt important. In fact, i just looked around my whole apartment, and couldnt find one thing that id just be like 'ya know what, if this broke...ehh...mmmm.....who cares." I cant imagine people are plugging in a lot of things that aren't important or costly. Unless they've started making TV's and cell phones out of tissue paper, Im pretty sure its going to be a little important. Make a stupid plug-in with built in surge protector. If you can make a clap light, im pretty sure you can make this.

everytime i speak in one of my classes, this kid just says, "he's a socialist" and everyone laughs and thinks its great. Im fine with this. Well, in a few of my classes we got to read other peoples papers and make critiques about them in front of class, with a group discussion. So for every paper, there is a person assigned to lead the class discussion. And guess who's paper i get? yup, dousche bag numero uno. thats number one in spanish. Anyway, his paper sucked. So i said, "your paper is horrible and you have ignorant views. I could have probably heard the same thing from your mom. Im surprised you didn't add her to your bibliography." He got pissed, and stopped me outside of class. He said, and i quote, "hey, that was really disrespectful to call me out in front of the class, and your comments were down right rude." I just chuckled and replyed, "get a life, man." I thought that was enough.

Yeah, i was a jerk about it, but you know what? This kid will probably have a better job than me and be my boss or somethin, and he'll get his power hungry self serviced, and all will be well with him. Im sure he'll even put his mom up in the nicest home when she gets old. But until then, I dont feel like douschebaggery should be rewarded, especially at BYU where it's so tolerated. So if I'm to provide diversity, im gonna make it so others can actually learn from it. And if that means telling some hard nosed conservative extremist that he needs to quit with the KKK propoganda and learn how to write, so be it.

Top 3 Relationships in my Lifetime

2009-03-10T16:32:00.007-06:00

1. Jack
I first met Jack when I was about 12 years old. But even then, I knew what love was. In fact, it was love at first sight. Well truthfully, I didn't actually see jack at first, because I met him in a box--it was super dark. But I could just tell by his smell that He was the one. I know it's sorta weird to be smelling guys, but what's wrong with it if the smell that engulfs you is a mixture of 99c tacos, Blueberry french toast sticks, and Southwest fajita pita's?
Needless to say, Jack was always creative and spontaneous. Every time I thought I had learned all I could know about him, another side came out. I remember specifically, I was sitting with Jack in my car. It was like 2pm, and he was still willing to hang out with me. My curly hair; his curly fries. The thought came to my head, "If I never learn anything about Jack for the rest of my life, I will still love him as much as I do at this very moment." And that's when it happened; he surprised me even more. He stepped out of the car and said he needed to show me something. So i got out of my seat, sipped some cold Dr. Pepper, and said, "What is it Jack? What's the matter?" Jack got down on one knee, and proposed to me. He held a medium sized box, and before he even opened it, I knew it was a gem. He propped open the box for me to see, and sure enough--presented me a Bacon Cheddar Ciabatta Burger, and asked for my hand in marriage. It was like Jack hand-crafted that gift himself. How could I refuse?
Always giving, Jack was. Soon I had given him a nickname--JBX. One time, randomly, I went to see my JBX at work, and it was like he knew i was coming. Just for showing up, he gave me a nice little gift to show me that he loved me: it was a little antenna ball that looked just like him, so i could even remember him on those long drives.
Jack never knew this, but it broke my little heart when I was forced to take a two-year break from him. I needed some time, and so did he. So that was it. Even now, Jack and I don't hang out much, but I have a feeling that we'll be back together sometime soon, and when we do, what a glorious day. I love you Jack, you'll always be in my heart.

2. My latest eX (Box)
They say you always have a hard time getting over your eX, because she means so much to you at the time, and I must admit, I'm still not over my last eX. And I know what you're thinking: I really have a thing for the Box Family. First jack, now my eX Box. But what can I say, they're just really cute!
I met this eX at an addiction meeting. She won't admit it, but she was in the adult entertainment industry, and she really, really, really just loved entertaining adult males ages 18-24. Sure enough, I was about 19 when I met her. Perfect match eh? I went to the meeting because I heard it was a good place to pick up chicks who were really wired, if ya know what I mean. I gotta tell ya, and don't be too loud about this, but I really didn't like her at first. I had just come off a relationship with another X (not pictured), and I really wasn't used to the new body type. But my new eX Box made a complete 360, and I fell for her.
When I was bored, she was there. In the morning, she was there. Afternoon:there. Evening: There. Even after I had just hung out with Jack, She was there. Most loyal relationship of my life really.
Plus, check out her body. I put the measurments on her picture for you guys to see how hot she was. I mean seriously, even black guys can back me on this one. She had a really rockin body, and the best part was that I could turn her on from about 15-20 ft. away. Now that's a decent relationship!

3. Pan Cakes
My first word; my first love. Ever since I can remember, I have been hanging out with Pan. She's like that childhood friend who is always crushing on other guys, but you are always chomping at the bit to get her. That is Pan for you. We could talk about anything together. She even had a girl-friend named Waffle that wanted to get with me, but outta respect for Pan, i resisted. Plus Waffle was too much of a square for my liking.
If I remember right, Pan grew up in Vermont and always liked this guy from back home. I don't remember his name, but she always refered to him as "my liquid sugar." I was always jealous of that liquid sugar. And guys would fight over her all the time. There was this one guy who worked at Denny's that loved Pan, but I think she secretly favored the dude who waited tables at IHOP. Still, Pan always gave me a lot of attention. I'd butter her up with compliments, and she'd melt everytime.
That girl was moody at times. When my mom had her over to my house, she was as happy as a scone, but when we took her to mcdonalds, she always seemed a little stale.

As you can tell, I've had some pretty decent relationships in my life, But i could start dating less slutty girls if I do say so myself. They really get around. I mean, how many of you have dated these three? Almost every guy has been with my X! Its ridiculous! Still, they treat me good, and that's all I can ask. Hopefully I can continue to find love!

Here's one for you..

2009-03-08T14:03:00.002-06:00

Okay, so my last blog was a bit dissapointing, but that's okay. Because guess what, although I do write for others to see, sometimes you just gotta take a personal day, or in this case, a personal post. So i posted for me, and tried to make a mathmatical equation out of nothing. But in case you didn't notice: All those times in math class when you said, "I'll never use this in real life" Guess what? I just did. And furthermore, next time I wanna see how tall a flagpole is, I'll be able to know. So really, who's the real winner in this situation? That's right, I am.

Lately I've been a bit of a complainer about the BYU/Utah atmosphere, and I just wanna clear a few things up. First and foremost, I don't HATE BYU, I just hate parts of it. But I think that goes with everything? You take the good and the bad. Even videogames have a bad side. Like it makes you use profanity when talking to another dude who just pwnd you from halfway across the world. So there you have it. But another thing, I guess i would like BYU more if it were located in California, or Washington, or even Mississippi. The climate in Utah is devastating, and i don't say that lightly. But for your viewer pleasure, I found a nice little video clip out of the BYU newspaper so you judge yourself. One thing i do love is the BYU newspaper. And i say that honestly; that thing provides me at least a half hour of entertainment per day, and as you can tell, I find myself investigating this entertainment even further when I get home, or on sundays.

Here's the link: http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/71592
Now this story is regarding whether Facebook should only be used by college students, or should it continue to be used by everyone. Obviously, for revenue purposes, facebook will never limit its users to the college world, but for argument's sake.....

Now I hope you have watched the video before reading this paragraph, or are at least participating in a simul-cast involving the video+myblog, otherwise the comments may not have the full effect. Let us examine the folks in this video....

Mickell Peterson: Bountiful
This is the first girl. One thing I would like to point out: In all my dealings with folks from Utah, and that has been quite a lot the last few years, I've found that when you ask them where they're from, they always say: Bountiful, or Riverton, or, Eden. Or whereever they may be from. But they NEVER say Utah with it. It's like they expect me to know that bountiful is in utah automatically. Or they expect me to know that Riverton is definately in Utah. I beg of you Utahns, as you like to be called, PLEASE JUST SAY UTAH AFTER YOUR CITY'S NAME! I would not say "Marysville" and expect you to know that's in Washington. And even though I am in your state, we go to a very diversified college (In a state/country regard. Glad I cleared THAT up, because I wouldn't classify BYU as diverse on many other scales.) I did some research on this topic, and found that there are 9 Riverton's in the United States. So when you say you're from riverton, go ahead and tell me which one, because I haven't heard of any.
And another thing, Mickell Peterson! Like i so bluntly reported in this entry, This girl has fully subscribed to the large sunglasses look. Prime Example! Guys, can you tell if this girl is hot? I mean, she definatley looks like she has for real potential. And if I were driving next to her, my first instinct would be yes. But now, we'll never know. What a shame. And on to the next.

Ryan Nelson: Gig Harbor, WASHINGTON( you see how it's done?)

Okay, the only thing I want to say--Is this guy a true representative of Washington State? It's even WESTERN washington! I guess it IS Gig Harbor, and he probably has been to the Twilight Museum in Forks, Wa a billion times. Speaking of Twilight, could there be any worse news than THIS?

Jared Hatch: Herndon, Va

Well If Virginia is for Lovers, than this dude is definatley a gay lover. I mean, what's with the headband? Seriously? I guarantee this is one of those guys that when you enter his apartment, he's wearing a cowboy hat, large belt buckle, a sweatband, and plays Goo Goo Dolls on his acoustic guitar--using the wrong tabs he printed off the internet. I can't say too much more about this guy. I'll use his own words: "I think everyone needs friends; not just college students." Thank you Jared. That's quite insightful. Thank goodness Jared pointed that out to me, otherwise I would leave friends behind once i graduated. And I don't want the world to see me, cuz i don't think that they'd understand......I just want you to know who I am!!!

Emily Sorenson: Laguna, Ca

Okay emily, get some of those big sunglasses.

Lyndee Searl: Burley, ID

Maybe you shouldn't have told us you were from Idaho? This girl has really really really shifty eyes. Like, I'm not even sure what she said in the video; all i could focus on was where her eyes were goin next. The only thing worse was if she were wearing a blue-tooth. (Where you lookin? Who you talking to? You got a little too much goin on here!) When I re-viewed this tape (which you might have to do also), I realized that this girl was actually just thinking to herself aloud. She was going through the argument in her head and piecing it together to the camera. Compose yourself woman! Just the fact that the film ended with this girl made me forget what the issue was, and what my opinion about it was!

Okay, so that was a long post, and you might have to watch this video a few times to even see what I'm talking about, but I hoped you enjoyed it. And seriously, I dont hate Utah but man, there is some entertainment value here. I feel like a 49'er of entertainment, tapping into an un-ending source. Enjoy, and if that link doesn't work, i guess this whole post was pretty rediculous.

Another Lifeless lesson

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

2009-03-06T18:39:00.002-07:00

I first must direct you to a short blog I found funny, it is my friend Mitch's short, but completely relevant rant. The title alone suggests a funny article, Little Man vs. Walking Thesaurus Pt. 1. Check it out, you only live once.

The Watchmen. I saw it, and I liked it. You know, there are only a few movies worth going to a 12 Oclock showing for, and sadly, we probably go too often in our lives. I mean think about it: out of all the midnight movies you have gone to, how many of them have been worth the 'midnight anticipation' The Lord of the Rings maybe? Not the first one though, because I remember feeling gyped (Is this a play on Gypsies? Should I have gone with jewed instead? or raped, if youre a gamer?) when that movie finally ended. LOTR fellowship had what i like to call a "War of Worlds Ending". Let's just use WWE for short. A WWE occurs when you invest a long time into something, only to find out that "wow...the aliens died from bacteria on earth. Why'd I watch that whole thing?" Exactly, you know the feeling. I think the only reason LOTR subscribed to WWEism because the movie ended with a couple of midgets walking across a mountain. And I'm pretty sure Snow White in the Seven Dwarfs had similar plot twists.

Other WWE life occurences:

Facebook. While entertaining, I find that I spend far too much time on facebook, and for what? WWE for sure.
Middle School. Why did we think that place was so important? CAN they fail you? You give, you give, you give. Accelerated Readings, Running to lunch, and an Oregon Trail ending. dying of malaria.
Sleeping. I've actually come up with my own formula, and you may think it strange, but lemme explain:

I hate sleep. Like, of course it feels good, and of course I need it, but i still hate it. Who said we use something like, two-thirds of our lives sleeping? And lately, i really havent been getting a lot of sleep. I sleep a few hours at night. Most of the time, once Im awake, im awake. With a few exceptions, I dont get especially tired during the day. But that first few minutes of waking up is what really hurts me. It really,really sucks. You may know the feeling? But I've found that with every hour I stay up later, it makes me feel crappy for five extra mins in the morning.

If X = hrs > 17 continuouslly awake and Y = { (5)+5 } --as in 5 mins of crappiness in the morning for each hour, plus the standard of 5 mins regardless of how many hours of sleep you get.) The final equation is X(5)+5.

Therefore, lets say I stay up 21 continuous hours, than X=4, because I was awake 4 hours over the typical 17. Simply, the equation is 4(5)+5 =25. If i stay up for four hours longer than 'usual', I'll suffer 25 mins of crappiness when I arise in the morning.

So what I need to ask myself is, Is four hours of being Alive more beneficial to me than the suffering imposed when i awake? The amount of Minutes in four hours is 160. 160>25. A differencial of 135. As you can see, staying up for four extra hours at night is worth +165 mins.

This said, because sleep is absolutley essential for life, we must consider that fact that one can go without sleep. And if the equation was perfect, You could stay up all day every day, 7(5)+5=40, and essentially I'd be up +380. This could never happen, because in fact if you stayed up all 24 hours, than you wouldn't lose the 40 mins to "waking up crappiness" because you'd be awake the whole time. In essence, a person must have at least 1 hour of sleep each night, in order to provide the subject with time for waking up. And practically, he must average even more than that.

And as you can see, this equation has turned out to be a prime example of WWE. Thanks for reading.

Something you never knew about me...

2009-03-04T01:37:00.002-07:00

I believe this post is for Katey Robertson, because when I would write in my old LIveJournal,
she would always come up to me in person, and comment on what I had to say, and it's always nice to have someone read your Journal, somewhat religiously-if thats an appropriate word- without you knowing it. Makes you think you have a following, even if it's just a good friend. thanks Katey. And I do realize that a lot of other folks read that livejournal, and thank you for that, even though I read the archives (of which i provided a sample of, above) and am fairly embarassed of the things I wrote. I'll tell ya one thing, LJ seemed to be more intuitive than this blog. "User-friendly" is the new "two-thumbs up" in the review world. LJ was user-friendly. And with the amount of LJ comments I received on that LJ post, I almost want to write the same thing again. But I decided against it, mostly because I have a new group of friends than back than, and plus....high school was soooo long ago.

But here is a story I've only told a select few, but now reveal to the world. This happened when I was living in Lake Stevens, Wa. as a child. I wrote this very recently, and found that when reflecting on my past and my childhood, many things come out in the way only I viewed them. They may even seem ficticious, but to me, it was completely real, with no exaggerations. In a literal sense, I found memories being extracted that I hadn't thought about in years. It is a little long, but i found the whole situation quite humorous. Just note: you might need a few minutes to finish this post.

Across the street from us lived Amber and Anthony. Always in that order. Whenever we went to play with them, we always said, ‘were going to amber and anthony’s house.’ I never once remember calling it Anthony and ambers. Amber was older. Her last name was Ralston. Josh and I always had a crush on her, and when I was older I always claimed she was my first kiss, when in fact, we never did kiss. I think josh kissed her once. It was under that same jungle gym that he jumped from and broke his leg. I think we were playing ‘house’ and since josh was older, he always got to be the dad. Amber was our best friend-girl. I remember they lived in crazy circumstances. Even at my age, I knew that her mom was crazy. She had a new boyfriend everyday, it seemed. And always assholes. She always came out yelling at us kids for something or another. We never knew why, and I doubt we cared. I think this was the first time we really knew of insubordination. One time, josh and taylor and I were throwing rocks into our backyard. Ambers mom’s boyfriend came out and starting yelling at us because he was pissed that we always threw rocks in the neighborhood. We just kept on throwing. He started to approach and that’s when my mom looked out the window and found this man screaming at her children. She rushed out and got into his face. A lot of profanities were said and my mom, like always, outlasted this stranger. She demolished him. Josh and I were proud. This is the first time we felt like we belonged to someone, and that we were never to be hurt. And even better, amber was still on our side because she hated her mom’s boyfriend too. That’s when Anthony had a stroke. Years later, I still don’t recognize the seriousness of it all. This boy was a scrounger, and he played in the dirt, and he was small, but he acted big. When he had that stroke it hurt us all, because the boy we knew as ambers brother couldn’t speak anymore. He couldn’t talk at all. I guess we didn’t hang out with him much right after the stroke. We just didn’t feel comfortable, and even our childish acceptance of everyone had limits. We couldn’t possible hang around someone who counldnt talk. This was our first form of discrimination. But it only lasted until he could speak again. The only problem was, when Anthony could speak again, it was only swear words. His mom and her boyfriend fought so much and cursed so much, that those were like anthonys first words all over again. The F word, the A word, and any other four letter word you could think. This made Anthony fun again, and third grade was the first time I swore, because Anthony sounded so good doing it. With the use of a few other words, I could find that my combination of swearing created an even better effect than his. This was a great discovery for me, and I used it all the time, except at church, but we rarely frequented that place anyway. We wonder what happened to Anthony? One time, after the stroke, Anthony found this little baby bird In a nest in a tree in his yard. He cared for it, but everyone knew it would die. When it came to naming the bird, he named it ‘shit’ quite fitting for a bird dejected by his mother. Little shit. But reflecting, we see the same in Anthony. A boy rejected by his mother, and bound for nothing better than a working life filled with challenges. But he was our little shit, and despite his language, we took care of him.

A bit morbid, but a wonderful memory. It is said that everything you need to know in life, you learned in kindergarden. I dont know if i'd limit it to kindergarden, but Josh (my brother) and I learned a lot in that little coul-de-sac in Lake Stevens. And i can't believe the only words that boy could say were swear words, like literally. It's probably the saddest thing I've ever heard, but at the time, i was seriously enthralled by every word. When all you have is swear words, you can mix up the tone enough that every one means something different. It was poetry, truly.

My letter to the editor

2009-03-02T12:21:00.003-07:00

I told you in my last post that I wrote a letter to the editor of the BYU newspaper, mostly because of the bias viewpoint which never gets disputed or challenged because everyone here would be considered highly conservative.

Before I post the actual text of my article, i just want to touch on one issue I have with BYU--it seems as though there is zero diversity at this school, and on a larger scale, the entire state. We've heard endless arguments about how diversity helps students learn and blah blah affirmative blacktion, etc etc. Well going to this school, I completley agree. there couldn't be a more bland (however good the education may be) campus. Seriously, When everyone takes the same viewpoint, it makes things boring. I think im a god-send to shake some feathers. I know many of you may disagree, but I'm a firm believer in diversity in education, and its not because I'm black. After all, i grew up in suburban Seattle. How "Black" could i really be?

Today in my english class, we had to choose a topic for our research papers. I, knowing that the only way I'd get into this assignment is if I chose a topic I was in love with, decided to go with "How Harry Potter has effected the western world." Well, today we were to write our topic on a sheet of paper, pass it to the bland student next to me, and they were to comment on some counter-arguments we should consider. And we were to keep passing, until everyone's ultra conservative view was imprinted on each of our paper's. Well, in the middle of this activity, I received a topic entitled, "We should make the world more aware of AIDS." fine topic. I wouldnt persue it, but fine nonetheless. At that moment, I decided that I would try to think of a comment most congruous with everyone else's opinion so that I'd fit in. All i want is to fit in with these folks. So i wrote on her page

"God Hates Aids. Plus it came from Monkeys."

I thought the comment was legit. But apparently when you write something anonymously, It really means the other person will get pissed until she finds out who wrote such a degrading comment. Well, without much effort, she found me. And said, and I make a direct quote,

"This is why I dont think you are a return missionary. You say vulgar things like that."

So i guess I'm not fitting in? You see, joke's dont work well around here. now i will admit, if she has a family member with AIDS, I guess that would come off as a bit insensitive, and an apology would be in line. But whatre the odds she knows someone with AIDS? and even then, to take offense at that might be a little overreaction. It was clearly a joke.

Without delaying any longer, I provide you the article I wrote for the "Daily Universe," BYU's own daily newspaper. I was a bit dissapointed that they edited some of the material "for content" but they still got the essence, so i was happy:

"Every time I peruse the BYU paper, I get to hear about how President Obama is already ruining the nation. I hear endless comparisions to Clinton and numerous complaints regarding the stimulus package. In a recent article, I even had the 'opportunity' to read about how Obama's first 100 days in office have already left so many of our middle-upper class lives 'hopeless.'

First of all, how many of us can say we've been completley proficient within the first few days of our new jobs? Second, are we really going to have to hear all this criticism for the next 4 or 8 years? And third, with all those who criticize, I haven't heard on solution to any of the atrocities that President Obama has committed. Unless you provide another option or solution, all we really get to read about is a biased opinion lined with ignorance. And if I wanted that, I'd just watch FOX news.

My point is, with all this "look for the positive things in people" talk, shouldn't we at least be giving the President a fighting chance, instead of tearing into him with every chance we get? And now I'll go back to my economically depressed life."

And there you have it. say what you will.

Movie Review

2009-02-27T20:41:00.002-07:00

So every good blog has movie reviews in it, because its a subject that brings everyone together, and everyone, even your most casual readers, will enjoy hearing about a movie they haven't seen; and will inevitably disagree with you on movie's they have seen. I think this is a natural process for me-disagreeing with folks. Today, i was reading the fine daily publication that BYU students put out. I couldn't believe how much print space they spent just bashing Obama, and it wasnt just one day's worth of bash; it has been like every day for two weeks. If you can believe it, i went home and wrote an email to the editor.

Basically, the essence of the email went like this: "Hey, I realize Obama has not been doing the best job in your opinion. That said, when have you met anyone that has been fully proficient at their job within the first few months? I havent met a ton of people that have. In fact, it seems like you arent very good at your job, and I've been reading your articles in the paper for the past two and a half months."

two days ago, she also posted an opionion editorial on how students at BYU need to look for the good in everyone more often. But then she goes and bashes Obama day-after-day. In all honestly, I'm not the biggest Obama supporter the world has seen, but Im hoping he does good. The sad thing is, this girl is probably going to get a really nice intership at FOX news, and the whole nation will get to hear her Utah-style rhetoric. I wish she had a blog, so i could just post a link, and you could see for yourselves. I think even the most conservative of us would be appalled.

Im sorry, this is not turning out to be a movie review at all. this is just turning out to be my political views, which have no real direction except for what's popular amoung my demographic.

Coraline: Dude, the art in this movie is real cool, but does anything beat seeing a movie in 3-D? I mean first i saw Bolt, which was an eye-opening experience for me. I thought 3-D was for children, but honestly i can't imagine seeing any self proclaimed action movie any other way. I mean seriously, In one scene in Coroline, the 'alternate' mom that Coroline meets by entering another dimension (where her parents are more interesting, cook dinner regularly, and dig gardens... essentially mormons.) The only stipulation is that if Coroline wants to be mormon too, than she has to sow buttons into her eyes. Well the mom pulls out the needle, and with the 3D, it really looks like she is poking ME in the eyes with a needle. The movie itself is pretty sinister, but the real scary thing about it is the 3-D that makes you jolt back into your chair when something jumps out at you. You just dont expect that from a cartoon. Overall, the movie and storyline was decent, which is what seems to be winning oscars. (But Slumdog Millionaire was fantastic). But i did like the animation, although they should have made it more Japan-ized, because you know how much i love Anime. All im going to say is that the movie beats Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,at Disneyland, but not by much. Afterall, disneyland is awesome.

If anyone else has seen this movie, please disagree with me.

Lemons

2009-02-26T11:00:00.002-07:00

I decided against naming this post, "Another lifeless lesson about lemons" --mostly because that would just be too much for reader's to handle. I mean, think of all the different ideas that come to mind when you read that. Seriously, think about it.

But seriously, I just wanted to rant for a moment, and this being my first post, what better way to really get to know something about me. so here you go.

Lemons. Okay, so I go to restaurants at least a moderate amount each week, and since when did Waitresses/ Businesses decide that everytime someone ordered a water or diet cola, they were going to assume you wanted a lemon in it? I mean come'on, did I order lemonade? I don't think i did. Im pretty sure 'water' doesn't even rhyme with 'lemonade'. And 'Diet Pepsi' doesn't rhyme with anything that im aware of, so surely you could'nt mess that one up. If i wanted lemonade, i would head over to the county fair and order some with my curly fries and corndog! And if, if, if... thats a big IF, you have the fortitude to add lemon's to my water, why not just go big or go home and add some sugar to it? Or here's a better idea: Stop adding anything to my water. You know what i really really like about water? It tastes like nothing, and is still very refreshing.

You know, I went to IHOP (that's another proverbial letter I don't wanna open right now) the other night with my friend Spencer, and before we ordered, I took a trip to the restroom, which smelled of desserty-waffles,and when I returned I found my worse nightmare--lemon's with water--staring back at me with one of those lemon smiles. When I sat down, spencer said 'I already told her. She's getting a new one." sweeeet. Spencer was a kind enough friend to inform the waitress that indeed I didn't want a complimentary lemonade with my breakfast. If she was really thinking, she would have brought me water with oranges in it, because i decided, 'hey, maybe orange juice would go well with my bottomless pancakes?' What a novel idea. This isn't summer, I don't wanna purchase lemonade at the stand by the golf course. Just give me my water, and I'll be happy.

One thing I saw today that threw me off a bit: a girl wearing large, white sunglasses. Is this not the most deceiving thing ever? There's nothing like driving in your car, stopping at a stop light, looking over to see a questionably good looking girl, and seeing someone with huge sunglasses that cover half her face. It leaves you wondering: Was she hot? I dont know, i couldnt see her eyes,ears, mouth, or nose. Needless to say, it'd be very difficult to play head/shoulders/knees & toes with someone wearing that big of sunglasses because when you got to the end, she'd just be touching those huge frames. I think the guy equivelent to this would be those aviators. Is there anything that makes you look like a bigger tool than those? The only thing i can imagine that'd be worse than that is if you started calling yourself 'Maverick' and went to the nicklecade and played flight simulator for 8 hours. Seriously, enough with the glasses. I like to see your face, and girl--you got it, so you dont need to hide it.

Just some basic rants. And some "lifeless lessons on lemonade"